Laughing Without Fear of the Future

I came home one evening and saw that someone had taken the time to inscribe the kitchen chalkboard. My wonderful roommate Katie had written the following in beautiful calligraphy - "She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."

It's a verse I'd read many times before but never given much thought to. But lately, there's been a lot on my mind, situations I can't yet comprehend and that haven't quite added up, and those words, those words of "laughing without fear of the future," have been inscribed in my mind.  

Growing up, I used to want to be an event planner.  I'm a big picture person; I see a vision and I want to work to piece it together and make it become a reality. While my career has taken a different path, I still enjoy planning things but at the same time, because I have to be planned, precise and punctual in my professional life, when it comes to my personal life, I try not to plan too much. Unless a plan and timely steps are a must (i.e. trips, flight, show time, etc...) I let things come as they may. I've learned that every day brings surprises of its own, and adaptability with a big dose of spontaneity is the way I like to “plan” my day.

I also haven’t really ever made a plan for the future. I know of goals and desires and hopes that I have, but I have no intention of mapping out the precise moment of when they need to happen. I just want to work towards them and hope for the best.

But to be honest, there are some things I want to happen sooner rather than later. By no means, are these set in stone for a time or day or month or year, but I sometimes grow inpatient. Waiting is hard; no wonder patience is a virtue.

Thoughts of the future don’t me anxious, they make me excited, but at times, my analytical nature kicks in and wants to make sense of the situation at hand. If you are in the public affairs/relations realm like me, we can just call it a “situation analysis.” Sometimes I do those on myself.

There is a particular part of my life that I both can and cannot control at the same time and that is hard reality to process sometimes. It takes effort on my side but it also requires a lot of faith and trust in the process, the people involved and really in the plan that God has prepared.

Around this time last year, something happened that was the hardest experience I have ever gone through. I learned a lot …. about a lot of things. A lot of it was about pain, but a lot of it was also about grace and love and healing. It was at that time, a brutal reminder of the reality that the plans we may conjure in our minds aren't always what play out, and at one point, that was a scary to comprehend and accept. Things had made so much sense, they were too good to be true, and the path seemed so crystal clear.

During that time, I made a conscious decision that while I could stay stagnant, I’d rather boldly march forward, taking chances and laughing without fear of the future. That was the path I chose, and it led me to some of the most remarkable moments and memories. It’s so cliché to say, but that experience has in a short 12 months, taught me some of the most priceless lessons and made so much stronger, bolder and aware of who I am and who I want to be.

Reflecting on the past and the present, I’m reminded yet again to be the woman who laughs without fear of the future, who continues to take opportunities and risks, and who trusts in the truth that God works for the good of those who love him. I am also reminded to subdue the impatient part of my character and to submit my plans to the One who can make all things possible.

And as for being clothed in dignity and strength?

 I couldn’t think of a better wardrobe.