All my singles ladies (and gentlemen)

My adorable grandparents, Joseph & Maria 
(photo courtesy of Vitaly M Photography)

“Marriage has the power to set the course of your life as a whole. If your marriage is strong, even if all the circumstances in your life around you are filled with trouble and weakness, it won't matter. You will be able to move   out into the world in strength.”

                                                              -Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage
  There are two things in life that scare me: liberals and never getting married. The latter is worse, of course. I am NOT the type of girl with binders of wedding ideas and florists on speed dial. But, I do have a wedding Pinterest board, sue me, so does every girl capable of accessing the world wide web. In my life I have been blessed to be surrounded by living examples of what exactly a marriage is supposed to look like. My grandparents, parents, aunts and uncle have marriages that people should be documenting. They are imperfectly perfect. I know that they are not perfect because every individual is inherently flawed, but other then that, they rarely fall short of perfection. These people have demonstrated what grace, forgiveness, compromise and ultimately love look like. After years of observations, only one explanation stands: these were matches made in heaven. Literally.
     I am not naive to believe that there is absolutely only one perfect person out there for you. Rather, I have learned that the most critical component of marriage is for the union to be perfect in God's eyes. The man and woman preparing for holy matrimony must indefinitely know most and foremost their relationship with God. They must feel complete and whole through only Christ. Marriage is not about finding someone who completes you. This is arguably the biggest intangible threat to the institution of marriage today. People search for someone who completes them because they themselves feel incomplete. They enter marriage thinking that this person can fill all the voids and gaps they themselves have not been able to complete. When the other person fails to do so, marriages dissolve, precisely what we are seeing happen in society today. Your husband or wife will help you change, evolve and grow as a person, as they absolutely should, but you cannot expect them to complete you wholly. Some of those voids are too big for any human being, only God is big enough to fill those. 


     Ever since I was little, my family always told me that the man I desire should be seeking God above all, and then everything else will fall into place. I always nodded and thought well duh, of course. Yet as you grow older and meet people, not all those people are interested in God's will and frankly, a lot of those people are really attractive, really entertaining and really click with you. Good conversations lead to good dates which lead to good feelings. Everyone is guilty of putting the religion question on the back burner because you are just so happy to have met someone you really really like. Then the back burner heats up and you end up burned. If you play with fire you're going to get burned and the flame of desire is a hard one to subdue.
    I guess the way to avoid the burn is to avoid the fire but gosh, we humans seem to be more likely to do the wrong thing over the right thing. I've met some really great guys and some of them really had it all. They were not by any merit perfect, but they really fascinated me. They may even have been completely opposite but I wanted to get to know them. When I got to know them I realized how many things we have in common or even how the things which we differed in actually complemented our friendship. The only problem here and actually the biggest problem is that while that other person may not have cared about our ideological differences, in the words of my mother, I should have been running in the other direction. I'm not saying I can't be friends with a guy who doesn't believe what I believe, the bottom line is that I need to run emotionally and romantically away. They say a woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him to find her, well I want to find a man whose heart is so lost in God that our paths intercede in our desires to find God's will.
     Never had I had a list in my head consisting of 6'3, doctor/lawyer, Porsche in the garage, 6 figure salary and etc. Seriously. None of the people in my family that I admire oh so much married someone of these qualifications. They married men and women who simply loved God. With Valentines Day coming back, I'm not interested in throwing a pity party. If I truly believe in God's plan, then as with everything, I am thankful for where I am right now. The background on my phone says the following" God has perfect timing; never early, never late. It takes a little patience and a lot of faith. But its worth the wait." Whenever I wonder where my man is, I remember that God has perfect timing. In my mind, my timing is now but the main Man in my life right now has been telling me to just wait and lets be honest, waiting really sucks. What I have really try to remember is that while yes I could be in a relationship right now, wouldn't I rather do it right, than just because "I feel really good with this person?" I've been there, I felt really good, except those feelings of good aren't forever, those feelings of good disappear when you realize that you missed the most crucial qualifier- that you need to be above all compatible spiritually.  
     Despite all, I love the love I am fortunate enough to have in my life now. Love is worth celebrating every day. This Valentines Day I will celebrate the people I love and the love I one day will have. Dear future husband, don't worry, I can't wait to fall in love with you too.