Quote of the Day 09/18/14

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”  [C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves]

Quote of the Day 09/07/14

"It’s quite an undertaking to start loving somebody. You have to have energy, generosity, blindness. There is even a moment right at the start where you have to jump across an abyss: if you think about it you don’t do it."    [Jean-Paul Sartre]

wanted: people who love

A few months ago I got an email from a reader asking me what is was that I valued or wanted in a relationship.  I stumbled across the email the other day after clearing out old messages and have been thinking about it ever since. Not sure if this was a friend relationship or a significant other relationship but I think that my answer will apply to both.

It's an interesting question. I mean, there are the basic things that we all want. We want love and trust and understanding and care and compatibility and shared values and interests. But I think what the reader was trying to ask was what I really value or just something that sparks interest and respect more than other things. 

As you grow older, you realize more and more the importance of good relationships in your life. You really do need other people; you need to be in community. There is only so much a single person can carry. Finding and growing these relationships is hard because in order to establish strong relationships, you've got to be vulnerable and you've got to trust this other person with the deepest and most disorganized parts of your soul. 

What I have been thinking about, especially as I enter a new chapter in life, is that what I have been really valuing and desiring are people who are intentionally seeking to pour love in others' lives. Most people want to love and take care of other people. I get that. But what I am talking about is those people who are truly intentional about doing so.Those people who actively and practically daily seek out ways to pour love into someone else's life. They step outside the safe zone of family,a significant other, or close friends and invest in people who aren't in their immediate circle or even those who are still a stranger. They love unconditionally and without some kind of dues. These actions don't always have to be grand measures or proclamations, in fact they are usually those little things... a kind word, an encouraging text, a follow up after a big exam or meeting, an invite to coffee, a compliment to a stranger, or even staying close to actually hear a response past "good" to the overly used "how are you doing?" question that end meaning the most. 

In the past few weeks, I have reinvigorated by the simple realization that there is whole lot of life out there to live. So many opportunities and places and people and things to be seen and done. While I definitely have travel fever, there are also endless opportunity for adventure in San Diego and California in general. These things which I may not have noticed before or even forgotten about are now clear and present on my mind. Pianist Arthur Rubinstein once said "I have found that if you love life, life will love you right back," and that is a quote that carries more and more meaning as the future unfolds.

So to that reader, what I really want is people who have a true love for others and a true love for life. Not the kinda "love" that dwindles when things get hard or confusing or boring, but the kind of love that burns bright regardless of circumstance. 

I want people who invest in others and seek out to make the best of every situation they are put in. I want people who have a passion for life and a way of making even small simple things the best of memories. I want people who are willing to join me in new risks and new adventures and try new things and find joy in the failures as much as the successes. People who build each other up and don't put a cap on their potentials as well as the potentials of others. I believe that it what it means to love life and that is what above all, what I want, and even more, what I really want, is to be that person to others and bleed love through everything I do and everything that I am.

If you're ready to be that person, come join me. 

Adventure awaits. 

Quote of the Day 3/6/14

"Life is often so confusing and full of metaphors and vague concepts. Very few things are concrete. How does anyone grasp these concepts, like trusting and believing and loving and worshiping, and put them into practice? How does anyone really apply them rather than just talk about them ?But I’m finding the deeper I think on this, that more than anything God is just saying, “Just give me your hows.” When I give up all of those "how" questions, I am no longer in control, which in this case is a very, very good thing. Placing these questions in His care is the absolute best thing I can do."

Quote of the Day 3/5/14

"Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true."   - Viktor Frank

Quote(s) of the Day 2/14/14

Happy Valentines Day! 

Whatever your current status is and however you may feel about Valentine's Day, I think its an extra opportunity to be reminded of how many blessings and how much love we all have in our lives. Today we should be reminded and encouraged to simply give a little extra love, a little extra attention and a little extra care to everyone; to those we know and to those we don't know. Everyone can always use a little more love in their lives!

And some quotes for today:

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."  [Mother Teresa]

"A loving heart is the truest wisdom." [Charles Dickens]

If you wished to be loved, love. [Lucius Annaeus Seneca]

Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love. [Mandy Hale]

There is no remedy for love but to love more. [Thoreau]

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” 
[Lao Tzu]

"Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could."  [Barbara de Angelis]

Quote of the Day 2/13/14

"The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of."   [Blaise Pascal]

Quote of the Day 2/12/14

"Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing." [Mother Teresa]

Quote of the Day 2/3/14

 “True friendship is a sacred, important thing, and it happens when we drop down into that deeper level of who we are, when we cross over into the broken, fragile parts of ourselves. We have to give something up in order to get friendship like that. We have to give up our need to be perceived as perfect. We have to give up our ability to control what people think of us. We have to overcome the fear that when they see the depths of who we are, they’ll leave. But what we give up is nothing in comparison to what this kind of friendship gives us. Friendship is about risk. Love is about risk. If we can control it and manage it and manufacture it, then it’s something else, but if it’s really love, really friendship, it’s a little scary around the edges.”  [Shauna Niequist]

Quote of the Day 1/13/14

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. All hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”     [John Lennon]

the promise of Christmas

Every year, the Christmas Candlelight Service is a service not to be missed. There is something just so beautiful and peaceful, and despite all Christmas traffic and planning and cleaning and any other holiday madness, it brings back Christmas to what it should be.

The 4 candles lit around the center Christ candle represent Hope, Peace, Joy and Love. So as Christmas sets in here on West Coast, I wanted to take a few moments to reflect on each advent promise. Each promise made is an everlasting and unconditional gift, given without limits, expectations or liabilities. In a world where everything comes with conditions or fine lines, it becomes nearly impossible to fathom why or even how such priceless gifts could be so freely given. 

Hope, Peace, Joy and Love. I won't speak for anyone but myself but I really want more of that in my life. I want to live every day as a hopeful, peaceful, joyful and loving person.

Quote of the Day 12/20/13

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 

And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 

If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 

A post worth sharing

This link was shared with me today and I couldn't help but share it on my blog. I love the writer's open and honest remarks on what really matters in love and ultimately marriage. The post below is taken from the writter's blog. It is some serious food for thought.

Something borrowed.

I am currently in the decision making process of what to write/how to make time to work so while I am away, I thought I would share this post that I stumbled across a few days ago. 

These are two beautifully written letters between Miss Right and Mr. Right. I love how honest and true and vulnerable both writers are and they encompass how many are feeling, especially as a twenty-something. I think that it is fair to say that a lot of us have reached a point that we are ready to open up our lives to share with someone else. In all honestly, despite many unknowns and variables, I am at a place where I am at peace and filled with joy. I know who I am and no matter where I go, I know the purpose and path to follow. That being said, "two are better than one" and I know I am not the only one in consensus in that statement. 

If you are at a point where you are praying and seeking to enter into a new stage of life, I think you will really be touched by these letters. I hope they touch you as much as they touched me!

Dear Mama

"She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
 “Many women do noble things
    but you surpass them all.”
 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
(Proverbs 31)

An open letter to my mother,

Dear Mama,

     When I was 7, I wanted to be an ice skater and you said “no.” When I was 10, I wanted to be a dolphin trainer, and you said “no.” When I was 15, I wanted to be a stylist, and you said “no.” This may sound like a very depressing conversation and for a 7 or 10 or 15 year old with the biggest of dreams, it very well did sound like that. But now as a 22 year old with now even bigger dreams, the multitude of ‘”no’s” that I have heard in my life were exactly what I needed. You were not the mom who approved of average grades, half colored pictures or weak performances. To a little girl it may seem so confusing but to an adult woman, it was just what was needed. Maybe part of me still hopes I can scoot by with half hearted attempts in my moments of laziness and complacency, but your resounding “no” has through my life journey stopped me from settling on anything short of my very best. You have taught me to push harder and give more, 100% can many times be 110%. Though I have lived only half the lifetime you have, the commitment to excellence you have taught me has already done me well. If I ever do receive praise or compliments, I can only humbly deter them to you because you are the reason for my success.

     Boys and beds were also two things you had strong, one-liner, imperative statements: “Never chase after boys” and “Always make your bed.” I promise I am still trying to live by these rules, and I hope to pass these on to my daughter one day too. Nothing is more valuable that your rules have kept my heart, soul and body safe and sound for my future prince. Furthermore, the biggest lesson I have learned is one that many could only dream to learn. I have learned what love is, what it looks like, what it sounds like and what it is suppose to feel like. Love, I have learned, means ongoing sacrifice, limitless forgiveness, unfailing grace and always letting the other have the first bite. Mama, I have watched you give yourself wholeheartedly to your God, your family, your work and even to those who are not very nice. With grace and elegance, you never fail to grab hold of a room, unknowing the awe in which people around you stand. I believe you would give Grace Kelly, Princess Diana, and Kate Middleton quite a run for their money.

     You still know exactly what you do to me when you say the words “Don’t disappoint me.” No matter if I am in Santa Barbara, San Diego, or Rome, I know you are watching my Facebook, my Instagram, and emails from home. What I did not know then, but I know now, is that it’s not a lack of trust but an honest truth of the value of accountability and knowledge that even the strongest fall down. Over the past few years, our dynamics have changed; instead of mother and daughter we have become friend to friend. We share secrets, we share pain, we share dreams, the only thing that has not changed is that you ask me “Have you met any nice boys?” Don’t worry Mom, when I do, I promise you will be the first to know. I have learned very well that when I do not run them by you, you get the fair chance of saying “I told you so.” But that is just how our relationship is: it is honest, it is raw and I would not want it any way. No matter what part of the world life has taken me, I always miss our late night chats, morning coffee follow ups and you asking why I have not made my bed.

Quote of the Day 5/2/13

A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.       [Nelson Mandela]

All my singles ladies (and gentlemen)

My adorable grandparents, Joseph & Maria 
(photo courtesy of Vitaly M Photography)

“Marriage has the power to set the course of your life as a whole. If your marriage is strong, even if all the circumstances in your life around you are filled with trouble and weakness, it won't matter. You will be able to move   out into the world in strength.”

                                                              -Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage
  There are two things in life that scare me: liberals and never getting married. The latter is worse, of course. I am NOT the type of girl with binders of wedding ideas and florists on speed dial. But, I do have a wedding Pinterest board, sue me, so does every girl capable of accessing the world wide web. In my life I have been blessed to be surrounded by living examples of what exactly a marriage is supposed to look like. My grandparents, parents, aunts and uncle have marriages that people should be documenting. They are imperfectly perfect. I know that they are not perfect because every individual is inherently flawed, but other then that, they rarely fall short of perfection. These people have demonstrated what grace, forgiveness, compromise and ultimately love look like. After years of observations, only one explanation stands: these were matches made in heaven. Literally.
     I am not naive to believe that there is absolutely only one perfect person out there for you. Rather, I have learned that the most critical component of marriage is for the union to be perfect in God's eyes. The man and woman preparing for holy matrimony must indefinitely know most and foremost their relationship with God. They must feel complete and whole through only Christ. Marriage is not about finding someone who completes you. This is arguably the biggest intangible threat to the institution of marriage today. People search for someone who completes them because they themselves feel incomplete. They enter marriage thinking that this person can fill all the voids and gaps they themselves have not been able to complete. When the other person fails to do so, marriages dissolve, precisely what we are seeing happen in society today. Your husband or wife will help you change, evolve and grow as a person, as they absolutely should, but you cannot expect them to complete you wholly. Some of those voids are too big for any human being, only God is big enough to fill those. 

Life Lessons With Lydia (and a Nov/Dec update)

The past few weeks have been exhausting, exhilarating, and educational:exhausting because you run on minimal sleep, exhilarating because life always throws a curveball or three and educational because well, you never stop learning. I have not written in a few weeks but in the meantime, I have been thinking and reflection about what I want to write. There is so much I have experienced and wrestled with the past few months but along the way I have discovered life lessons to abide by and things that naturally, I also struggle with. Ignore my cheesy title, I promise you will find these life lessons very applicable.

Quote of the Day 12/1/11

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."       [Joseph Addison]

Happy Birthday Yana!

Today is a day worthy of great celebration.... it is the birthday of the wonderful, beautiful, inspiring, adventurous, spontaneous, loving, brilliant, virtuous Yana!