Quote of the Day 3/6/14

"Life is often so confusing and full of metaphors and vague concepts. Very few things are concrete. How does anyone grasp these concepts, like trusting and believing and loving and worshiping, and put them into practice? How does anyone really apply them rather than just talk about them ?But I’m finding the deeper I think on this, that more than anything God is just saying, “Just give me your hows.” When I give up all of those "how" questions, I am no longer in control, which in this case is a very, very good thing. Placing these questions in His care is the absolute best thing I can do."

Dear Mama

"She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
 “Many women do noble things
    but you surpass them all.”
 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
(Proverbs 31)

An open letter to my mother,

Dear Mama,

     When I was 7, I wanted to be an ice skater and you said “no.” When I was 10, I wanted to be a dolphin trainer, and you said “no.” When I was 15, I wanted to be a stylist, and you said “no.” This may sound like a very depressing conversation and for a 7 or 10 or 15 year old with the biggest of dreams, it very well did sound like that. But now as a 22 year old with now even bigger dreams, the multitude of ‘”no’s” that I have heard in my life were exactly what I needed. You were not the mom who approved of average grades, half colored pictures or weak performances. To a little girl it may seem so confusing but to an adult woman, it was just what was needed. Maybe part of me still hopes I can scoot by with half hearted attempts in my moments of laziness and complacency, but your resounding “no” has through my life journey stopped me from settling on anything short of my very best. You have taught me to push harder and give more, 100% can many times be 110%. Though I have lived only half the lifetime you have, the commitment to excellence you have taught me has already done me well. If I ever do receive praise or compliments, I can only humbly deter them to you because you are the reason for my success.

     Boys and beds were also two things you had strong, one-liner, imperative statements: “Never chase after boys” and “Always make your bed.” I promise I am still trying to live by these rules, and I hope to pass these on to my daughter one day too. Nothing is more valuable that your rules have kept my heart, soul and body safe and sound for my future prince. Furthermore, the biggest lesson I have learned is one that many could only dream to learn. I have learned what love is, what it looks like, what it sounds like and what it is suppose to feel like. Love, I have learned, means ongoing sacrifice, limitless forgiveness, unfailing grace and always letting the other have the first bite. Mama, I have watched you give yourself wholeheartedly to your God, your family, your work and even to those who are not very nice. With grace and elegance, you never fail to grab hold of a room, unknowing the awe in which people around you stand. I believe you would give Grace Kelly, Princess Diana, and Kate Middleton quite a run for their money.

     You still know exactly what you do to me when you say the words “Don’t disappoint me.” No matter if I am in Santa Barbara, San Diego, or Rome, I know you are watching my Facebook, my Instagram, and emails from home. What I did not know then, but I know now, is that it’s not a lack of trust but an honest truth of the value of accountability and knowledge that even the strongest fall down. Over the past few years, our dynamics have changed; instead of mother and daughter we have become friend to friend. We share secrets, we share pain, we share dreams, the only thing that has not changed is that you ask me “Have you met any nice boys?” Don’t worry Mom, when I do, I promise you will be the first to know. I have learned very well that when I do not run them by you, you get the fair chance of saying “I told you so.” But that is just how our relationship is: it is honest, it is raw and I would not want it any way. No matter what part of the world life has taken me, I always miss our late night chats, morning coffee follow ups and you asking why I have not made my bed.

Life Lessons With Lydia (and a Nov/Dec update)

The past few weeks have been exhausting, exhilarating, and educational:exhausting because you run on minimal sleep, exhilarating because life always throws a curveball or three and educational because well, you never stop learning. I have not written in a few weeks but in the meantime, I have been thinking and reflection about what I want to write. There is so much I have experienced and wrestled with the past few months but along the way I have discovered life lessons to abide by and things that naturally, I also struggle with. Ignore my cheesy title, I promise you will find these life lessons very applicable.

Quote of the Day 7/16/11

"We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful, the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah"




Taken from "Better Than A Hallelujah" by Amy Grant