Life Lessons With Lydia (and a Nov/Dec update)

The past few weeks have been exhausting, exhilarating, and educational:exhausting because you run on minimal sleep, exhilarating because life always throws a curveball or three and educational because well, you never stop learning. I have not written in a few weeks but in the meantime, I have been thinking and reflection about what I want to write. There is so much I have experienced and wrestled with the past few months but along the way I have discovered life lessons to abide by and things that naturally, I also struggle with. Ignore my cheesy title, I promise you will find these life lessons very applicable.

• Life Lesson #1: Perform random acts of kindness. This is one I value more and more every day. I have learned how much a simple gesture or few kind words can make someone's day. I have began to simply just thank people or send notes or bake some cookies. You know that salesperson that really helped you out? Write a letter, seriously, it means the world to a salesperson. I recently sent one to a company and they wrote back with so much gratitude. It takes a few minutes out of our day, but it stays with that person for years to come. How many times do we think about how pleasant an employee treated us or how much that little gesture meant but never let that person know? Those little things often mean the most.
• Life Lesson #2: When you find real friendship, hold on tightly. It is true that people come and go but there are people that we should never allow to go. Over the past two years, I have been blessed with the greatest of friendships (Billy, Courtney, Clarissa, Briana...). At the same time, its hard work. Friendship requires time, patience and sacrifice but there is nothing else more valuable then people who love you. Do not take those people for granted, make time for them. Is it better to have 100 acquaintances or 5 real, close friends? I'd even take 1 real friend over a 1000 acquientances. All those people may show up for the party, but it is the ones who stay to clean up, are the ones that count and matter. 
• Life Lesson #3: Be merciful. Forgive Freely. Forgiveness is hard, but I have seen lately how forgiveness is what makes the difference. We all screw up so badly sometimes, and really need a "get-out-jail-free card" sometimes. Letting go of mistakes of others allows for the other persons and at the same time, your own personal growth. Being able to move forward only happens after forgiveness. Forgive every one of any possible grievance or mistake and forgive freely. I want to be the kind person who gives mercy unconditionally. 
• Life Lesson #4: Look beyond the surface. This is the most greatest of all these lessons for me recently. The truth of the matter is that everyone has a story to tell and everyone has reasons for why they are the way they are. We tend to forget that not everyone has lived the life we have personally lived and in the same way, we haven't walked a mile in another's person shoes. Sometimes we can really relate but sometimes we can't, and that is where lesson #3 comes in: mercy... and grace. Not everything in someone needs to be nitpicked. Some things need to be called out but some simply need to be forgiven, forgotten and ultimately accept that nobody will ever be a perfect person.
• Life Lesson #5: If you can do it today, don't wait till tomorrow. Procrastination is a plague, a drug, an addiction... whatever you want to call it. I have that illness; I like to wait till my car runs out of gas in the middle of the road because I kept delaying the reality that my car needs gas. These past few months I have really attempted to do things today and as soon as time permits: not when I feel like it, or when I am in the mood, but when I have moments of free time, to take care of things because tomorrow always brings errands of its own.
• Life Lesson #6: Clean your room. My mother has been teaching me this since I was born, but in my stubborn elementary years, I resisted any sentence with the words "clean" and "room." So what would happen is that while I would be out with my dad, my mom would come in and literally throw away any useless junk in my room. First I was angry, then I grew to really like how clean my room was when she was done and today, I keep my room clean always. My roommate and I faithfully make our beds together every morning. Just having a clean space to come home to after a long day really helps clear the mind. I don't understand how people can normally function in dirt. But seriously, mold, dirty underwear, and dust just don't provide a clear mind and healthy air to breathe. My mother always says that a persons mind is demonstrated in the condition of their bedroom. Ever wonder what your life is looking like? Just check out your living space... they totally parallel. 
• Life Lesson #7: Family isn't optional. Families come in all shapes and sizes and noise volumes. Some are more perfect than others, or some family bonds have vanished. I think that at the end of the day, no matter what, there is still something special about family and there is always at least one person who cares the world for you. To live in close relations with family isn't easy; there are lots of characters, personalities, and attitudes that don't always seem to be cohesive. Yet, a little love will go a long way. Never give up on your family. They can read you like a book and know more about you than you may think they do. If you are struggling with a difficult relationship in your family, never stop trying to make it work. There will always be a bond, keep reconnecting. There's a reason God put each one of us with the family we have here on Earth. 
• Life Lesson #8: Learn to love from a distance. There are people that come and there are people that go. Some we can bring back but some I have learned, no matter how much you love them, need to be loved from a distance. Even though this person or persons mean the world, frankly, he or she brings more pain and harm than good. There are people we would die for, but we know that they are just no meant to be close. These are those people who are lost, but stubborn; people who are so factually knowledgable, but ignorant of reality; people who have leaps and bounds of potential, but stuck in one place; people whom you have counseled, prayed for, and cried over, but they refuse to admit failure; people whom you miss so dearly, but live easier not carrying their unnecessary burdens. I have and know quite a few people like this. There are lost in their stubbornness and reluctant pursuit of shallow hopes and dreams. They look for temporary baubles to fill the voids in their hearts and minds. You and I know these people. The people that smile and laugh but we see pain in their eyes. Their greatest fall comes from not admitting failure and seeking help. These are the people who are stuck in life and until they are willing to change, one can only love from a distance and pray for the best. 
• Life Lesson #9: Birds of a feather really do flock together. People who are alike really do end up being together. You know how you see that person and wonder why is he/she there or with that group or in that place? Well, they are just the same. You are naturally drawn to be in that place with those people that you, in your heart, are. It's self explanatory, but sometimes we just want to believe otherwise about some else and/or ourselves. 
• Life Lesson #10: Life will never fit into your daily planner. I wish I could neatly pencil in everything into a planner and be able to take on every day, fitting in every event and every assignment into its scheduled time slot. Too bad planes are delayed, hurricanes and tornadoes strike, cars break down, meetings are canceled, tests are pushed forward, road work always happens are the worst possible time, food is out of stock at Costco, Macys run out of the right sizes, family members die, couples break up, babies come on their own time, mail is put in the wrong box, your cousin spills water all over your computer, emails fail, Facebook changes its layout, electric fuses are blown, your dog eats your homework, you don't get the job, jury duty happens, Ebay auctions seem to always end in the middle of the night, identity theft happens, your credit card declines, you get stood up on your date, Amazon doesn't ship your books on time, all the concerts you want to go to happen in one night, Freshman 15 happens, you don't win the lottery, Obama wins the presidential election, you crack the screen on your iPhone, your cat runs away... should I go on? See life happens and life happens all at once. It happens to everyone and the real art of living life and maintaing sanity is finding a balance and finding time. You need to have your priorities straight; find time to work and play and never forget the people that care about you. Tests, jobs, concerts and tv specials come and go and come back again. Friends and health aren't that simple, once they are gone, they are gone for good. 
• Life Lesson #11: Value your values and remain grounded. Too many times I see how people forget where they came from and who they once where. I value morality; I value good moral judgement in my country, my president, my family and my friends. There are boundaries to everything that must not be tampered with. We see all too many times tv specials of celebrities that just lose it. They shave their heads, overdose and many end up in fatal situations. They aren't the only ones... One cannot deny that people these days are  too flaky and pushy. We lose morals and values; we cross lines and we forsake traditions. I am guilty of pushing boundaries, and my mom has always reminded me that there are boundaries that are meant to be pushed but equally ones that should not be compromised. God still holds us to a moral standard no matter what society around us says. Never lose your values. Don't let it be a thin line; easy to cross. Erect a wall, with barbed wire if necessary. A weak foundation never upholds much for long.
• Life Lesson #12: Listen to your mother! If you have been a faithful reader and read this post in its entirety you have seen how much of the little wisdom I hold comes from my very wonderful mother (read more here: happy birthday to my best friend!). Even though I resisted her advice when I was younger and naive; it has come to the point where I gladly tell her to say: "I told you so." Not because she needs to boast, but because she is overjoyed when I allow myself to not create unnecessary troubles, but learn from her expertise and wisdom. My mother is a woman of virtue and grace. Your mother should be your best friend. If she isn't yet, make it your new years resolution.. She won't be there forever.

     This post was long, and I may or may not have time to write before the new year, but the things reflected and written about above are very personal and very real to me. I struggle every day with my own health problems, emotional problems, academic problems, and relationship problems. At the same time, I experience much joy when I focus on others, and not myself. I have made significant growth this past year, as well as significant problems. Every day is a process and a battle. Choices are never made without impact. Something always affects something else. We wish we could isolate just one thing. We think "if only i could just do this and then get back in reality..." but it doesn't work that way. Life is hard work. I know I have had points of arrogance, of denial, of ignorance, of defeat, of stubbornness, of heartbreak, of sadness but at the same time. I have experience great joy. Joy isn't just being happy, it has become this ongoing state of bliss, even in pain. I have seen how in my life pain fades and peace overcomes all. At the end of the day, I know I am in the right place, at the right time and with the right people. There are people I so badly want in my life right now. Some of my forever greatest memories are with these people, but I know that they just aren't meant to be. They weaken my foundation instead of empowering it. They bring negativity and burden because they have a closed heart. These are the people I constantly think and want to pray more for because that is all I can do. 
     Still, I am joyful, because peace transcends to me from my heavenly father. I know I am prone to wonder, but every day I want to be on the right path again. As 2012 approaches, its a big year... growing older, closer to finishing school, studying in Rome, moving, so many changes but inside I will continually rejoice. I am so ready to embrace the changes and seize opperunity. I love meeting people and getting to know them better. 2012 will be a year of new friendships, ending friendships, growing, forgiving and continually living and being ALIVE. I can't wait to see what is in store. 

"There are some things that people cannot do, but God can do anything."