Dear Mama

"She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
 “Many women do noble things
    but you surpass them all.”
 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
(Proverbs 31)

An open letter to my mother,

Dear Mama,

     When I was 7, I wanted to be an ice skater and you said “no.” When I was 10, I wanted to be a dolphin trainer, and you said “no.” When I was 15, I wanted to be a stylist, and you said “no.” This may sound like a very depressing conversation and for a 7 or 10 or 15 year old with the biggest of dreams, it very well did sound like that. But now as a 22 year old with now even bigger dreams, the multitude of ‘”no’s” that I have heard in my life were exactly what I needed. You were not the mom who approved of average grades, half colored pictures or weak performances. To a little girl it may seem so confusing but to an adult woman, it was just what was needed. Maybe part of me still hopes I can scoot by with half hearted attempts in my moments of laziness and complacency, but your resounding “no” has through my life journey stopped me from settling on anything short of my very best. You have taught me to push harder and give more, 100% can many times be 110%. Though I have lived only half the lifetime you have, the commitment to excellence you have taught me has already done me well. If I ever do receive praise or compliments, I can only humbly deter them to you because you are the reason for my success.

     Boys and beds were also two things you had strong, one-liner, imperative statements: “Never chase after boys” and “Always make your bed.” I promise I am still trying to live by these rules, and I hope to pass these on to my daughter one day too. Nothing is more valuable that your rules have kept my heart, soul and body safe and sound for my future prince. Furthermore, the biggest lesson I have learned is one that many could only dream to learn. I have learned what love is, what it looks like, what it sounds like and what it is suppose to feel like. Love, I have learned, means ongoing sacrifice, limitless forgiveness, unfailing grace and always letting the other have the first bite. Mama, I have watched you give yourself wholeheartedly to your God, your family, your work and even to those who are not very nice. With grace and elegance, you never fail to grab hold of a room, unknowing the awe in which people around you stand. I believe you would give Grace Kelly, Princess Diana, and Kate Middleton quite a run for their money.

     You still know exactly what you do to me when you say the words “Don’t disappoint me.” No matter if I am in Santa Barbara, San Diego, or Rome, I know you are watching my Facebook, my Instagram, and emails from home. What I did not know then, but I know now, is that it’s not a lack of trust but an honest truth of the value of accountability and knowledge that even the strongest fall down. Over the past few years, our dynamics have changed; instead of mother and daughter we have become friend to friend. We share secrets, we share pain, we share dreams, the only thing that has not changed is that you ask me “Have you met any nice boys?” Don’t worry Mom, when I do, I promise you will be the first to know. I have learned very well that when I do not run them by you, you get the fair chance of saying “I told you so.” But that is just how our relationship is: it is honest, it is raw and I would not want it any way. No matter what part of the world life has taken me, I always miss our late night chats, morning coffee follow ups and you asking why I have not made my bed.

Roma Roma Mia

Still can't believe this was real life.

 Editors Note: Please excuse my lateness on this post, but I figured better late than never :)  

Okay this is actually Budapest… but I kinda left a piece of my heart there too!

     4 countries, 18 cities and 100 amazing days later, I am back in the grind. The adventure I had waited for what seemed like forever came and went in a glimpse. I no longer wake up to the noise of nuns protesting, run downstairs to get my daily cappucino from a little old man named Giovanni, get harassed on the metro on the way to school or pass by the Vatican on my nightly runs. It still seems crazy that just a few weeks ago, Rome was my home and Italian life became the norm. The pavement I walked held more story then the entire state of California. But as they say… "all good things most come to an end." My trip may have come to an end, but the learning, memories and friendships made have not. What happens in Rome, does not have to stay in Rome and nor do I want it to. I am proud of the journey I made and the impact my trip has made on the rest of my life. 

Yeah, all the dessert was to die for. Brought a new meaning to death by dessert

  If you knew me prior to my trip, you knew I could not wait to go to Italy. It could not come soon enough; September could not come quick enough. I landed in Florence on the evening of September 6 and despite my rough flight, late night and inability to adjust properly to time change, it all felt so unreal. I was here, in Italy, afters months and months of waiting. Yet the next night when my parents dropped me off, things became very real and actually a little depressing. I was going to be away for a long long time (or so it seemed at the time) and despite all the wonders and glories that Europe had to offer… my family would be miles and miles away. In that moment, my eagerness quickly faded and I was left standing with a room full of suitcases and a handful of Kleenex. 
     
     In true Lydia fashion, the homesickness comes right away and as fast as it comes, it also leaves. Looking back today, Italy gave me the journey and adventure of a lifetime. I lived with 5 other girls, each of us so vastly different.. in personality, in style, in belief and in daily routine. But that was the beauty of 114 Viale di Trastevere, we learned to live, compromise and communicate with each other and came to find that maybe we  weren't so different from each other after all. We all had the same fears, failures, heartbreaks and heartaches.. we all missed our families and american food and venti sized lattes.. and at the end of the day, all we wanted to be is to be understood. Perhaps some of us will cease to exist in each others lives and some of us will only strengthen our newly grown friendships, but the point is that we grew on our own because we grew together. 
    People ask me why I chose Italy and apart from the obvious response of "why not?" there is another part to the story. My political science program at Point Loma may have required a semester abroad, but it was something I knew I wanted to do long before I even went to school. I always knew I wanted to go abroad and was set on London for years but one day, something within me changed and to be honest, it wasn't my choice, it was made by the man upstairs. I had prayed about study abroad for a long time and one morning I woke up with complete peace and confidence just knowing that Rome was it. It was settled and done and doubt never again crossed my mind.

Quote of the Day 11/2/11

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well."    [Voltaire]

1 down, 3 to go!

I. AM. DONE... with my 1st year of college! I honestly cannot believe how fast everything has flown by. 10 months ago, I left the comforts of home to go to unknown place filled with unknown people. The first few weeks, I wanted out. I was convinced this was not my place, my environment or people whom I would ever connect with. I had made a mistake by coming here.


Looking back, I have had 10 AMAZING months filled with memories that could fill up textbooks. Not only do I live in a place that looks a little short of heaven, but I live in a place with some of the most genuine, hard working, caring, loving, supportive, thoughtful, profound individuals I have ever met. My professors were all people who had the greatest passion and love for their students and teaching. Despite the stress, exams, papers and presentations, they made everything worth the effort. They pushed me to want to achieve my maximum potential. They were truly individuals who have poured their love into their students wanting only the best. They were there every step of the way, always offering help, advice and even just a little chat to ease up the days when I hadn't quite woken up on the right side of the bed. I have learned so much this year and am looking forward to the opportunities ahead of me and the things to be learned and seen.


I have 3 more years at wonderful Point Loma Nazarene University and I know every year will out do the year before it. To my hall-mates: Masey, Clarissa, Bri and roommate Courtney, you ladies have had such an effect on me, that I am at a lose of words for. Each one of you has something so special and defining, where one of us is lacking, another can complete. We just all make sense, we click and the only thing that can explain how I feel is the fact that from the bottom of my heart, I feel like this was the hand of God bringing us together. He knows us and what our needs are and our wonderful Savior knew we needed each other. I am more of a person because of each of you and would be less of one had I not met y'all. My hope and prayer is that we will continue this friendship and continue to support and uplift each other, in the good and in the bad. I know that God has so much in store for each of us individually and us collectively. I love you all so much. I have loved the memories we created, the laughs we shared and the tears we experienced. Courtney, we were both so nervous about who our roommates would be but I think we can both agree it turned out quite well. We lived together in a room smaller then our own rooms at home but we made it work. Never a silent night or awkward, tense moment, I guess we are quite compatible. Thank you for putting up with me and I didn't mind putting up with you ;)


To Megan and Anne, our leaders and advisors. You helped us through our awkward freshman moments and countless questions. Thank you for your time and attention, N5N will never be forgotten.


I think us girls would also agree that we could not have done it without some "men" support. Jon, Jeff, Tanner, Daniel and Daniel, we met on day 1 and not a day has gone by where we do not appreciate you all, for being yourselves, for being honest and supportive and always willing to help. To Tim, thank you for driving me around and for study groups and just being a great friend. To Matt and Billy, we go back to the start, back to PoliSci, and we have many more experiences to come. To Alex, for being there at meals and making me waffles and always having a comforting word.


To my biggest support group, my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and little sister. They were always praying and encouraging me. Thank you for the visits, flowers, food and letters. When I was not motivated and tired, y'all pushed me through those moments. Being away strengthened our relationships even more and pushed us to value even more the moments we shared. My parents made it possible for me to go to a dream school, taking on quite a burden but doing it with so much love and faith that where there is a will, there is way and God will provide.


Finally, only through Christ were the above things mentioned in any way possible. I am in no way perfect and have stumbled but the love of my Savior has picked me up every single time. I know I have many more improvements to make yet only in Christ alone my hope is found.He is my light, my strength, my song. This Cornerstone, this solid ground, Firm through the fiercest drought and storm. What a wonderful Savior, what a wonderful maker, With a strength like no other and the heart of a father. How majestic your whispers, what a wonderful God! Glory be to God on highest, He made this all POSSIBLE.