wanted: people who love

A few months ago I got an email from a reader asking me what is was that I valued or wanted in a relationship.  I stumbled across the email the other day after clearing out old messages and have been thinking about it ever since. Not sure if this was a friend relationship or a significant other relationship but I think that my answer will apply to both.

It's an interesting question. I mean, there are the basic things that we all want. We want love and trust and understanding and care and compatibility and shared values and interests. But I think what the reader was trying to ask was what I really value or just something that sparks interest and respect more than other things. 

As you grow older, you realize more and more the importance of good relationships in your life. You really do need other people; you need to be in community. There is only so much a single person can carry. Finding and growing these relationships is hard because in order to establish strong relationships, you've got to be vulnerable and you've got to trust this other person with the deepest and most disorganized parts of your soul. 

What I have been thinking about, especially as I enter a new chapter in life, is that what I have been really valuing and desiring are people who are intentionally seeking to pour love in others' lives. Most people want to love and take care of other people. I get that. But what I am talking about is those people who are truly intentional about doing so.Those people who actively and practically daily seek out ways to pour love into someone else's life. They step outside the safe zone of family,a significant other, or close friends and invest in people who aren't in their immediate circle or even those who are still a stranger. They love unconditionally and without some kind of dues. These actions don't always have to be grand measures or proclamations, in fact they are usually those little things... a kind word, an encouraging text, a follow up after a big exam or meeting, an invite to coffee, a compliment to a stranger, or even staying close to actually hear a response past "good" to the overly used "how are you doing?" question that end meaning the most. 

In the past few weeks, I have reinvigorated by the simple realization that there is whole lot of life out there to live. So many opportunities and places and people and things to be seen and done. While I definitely have travel fever, there are also endless opportunity for adventure in San Diego and California in general. These things which I may not have noticed before or even forgotten about are now clear and present on my mind. Pianist Arthur Rubinstein once said "I have found that if you love life, life will love you right back," and that is a quote that carries more and more meaning as the future unfolds.

So to that reader, what I really want is people who have a true love for others and a true love for life. Not the kinda "love" that dwindles when things get hard or confusing or boring, but the kind of love that burns bright regardless of circumstance. 

I want people who invest in others and seek out to make the best of every situation they are put in. I want people who have a passion for life and a way of making even small simple things the best of memories. I want people who are willing to join me in new risks and new adventures and try new things and find joy in the failures as much as the successes. People who build each other up and don't put a cap on their potentials as well as the potentials of others. I believe that it what it means to love life and that is what above all, what I want, and even more, what I really want, is to be that person to others and bleed love through everything I do and everything that I am.

If you're ready to be that person, come join me. 

Adventure awaits. 

Life is like a puzzle

I like doing puzzles. Call me old fashioned, or maybe just old, but I really like puzzles. I've liked them ever since I was little. I used to sit and do them for hours with my grandparents. There are some inside jokes in my family about some ridiculous things I have said while "puzzling." Puzzles and I, we just go way back. And while I had abandoned them for a while, they have recently found a way back into my life. 

Forrest Gump told us that life is like a box of chocolates (you never know what you're going to get) but I'd like to think that life is more relatable to a puzzle. Life is kind of like a puzzle; you sort of know what you are getting yourself into. You just don't know the specific logistics. Like how long it will take to put together, and you don't have an absolute guarantee that all the pieces are in the box. There is both predictability and unpredictability. I guess there is that with a box of chocolates too, but I think a puzzle is a better representation.

Lately, my life feels more than ever like a puzzle. And in this puzzle, I seem to be missing the picture. You know the picture you look at it to help you know what image you are putting together? Well… I can’t seem to find it.

I'm a big picture person. You give me a task or assignment and I see the big picture first. I see the end product and then I sit down and put together the little details and plan to put it all together. Similarly, that’s how I like to do my puzzles. I look at the big picture and frame the outside and then put together everything in the middle. I think that’s how most people do puzzles; it makes sense. You get the frame put together and then you can piece all the centerpieces together. It's a whole lot easier that way. 

Quote of the Day 12/20/13

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 

And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 

If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 

Quote of the Day 12/13/13

"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."    [George Washington]

getting it together

Every time I wrote I can't believe how much time has passed since I last blogged and I always get upset with myself. I love to write; I love to receive y'all's messages and emails and I even love the hate mail. I heard once that if you are offending someone, you must be doing something right, so I hope that perhaps I am doing something right..

Year 3 finished the first week of May and I enjoyed a few days at my parent's home before heading out into the big ole 8-5, Monday to Friday, business attire clad world. My 6:45 alarm calls are a consistent reminder  (or annoyance) that this is the real world. I've had jobs consistently since I was 15, but something about working a solid 8-5 block has really put things in perspective.

That being said before I dive in what's really been on my heart and mind, Id like to say that despite everything, I am beyond blessed and incredibly lucky to live the life I live. San Diego is beautiful, my home is welcoming and inviting and every day I am learning new things about my city, my friends, myself and life as a whole. I can't forget to mention that for a foodie as myself, San Diego is a food Mecca. It has every type of food and cuisine you could think of, whether you spend 5 dollars or 155 dollars, there is something delicious to be tried. I am working on a huge blog post of everything I have the chance to eat and the things my stomach is jumping for joy to try! Check back soon for that. Warming: don't read on en empty stomach or you might find yourself in your car en route to San Diego :)

Now that I've got that off my mind (or my plate), I can share a little bit of what I've been thinking, learning and maybe even messing up. Come summer vacation, I felt great, I looked great and I believed that anything was unachievable. I was high on life, and it was such an indescribable feeling. Yet, happiness came to a halt a little over two weeks ago. My health is as stable as the stock market which meant that as things seemed to get better, things evidently  crashed. It felt like all the progress and effort put in was worthless. It's as if I was stuck on a stationary bike. All that energy  put in and no matter how hard how hard you push, you are exactly where you started. Naturally, the first reaction was "Seriously? Again? Can you just cut me some slack God?" My cloud 9 had withered away and I was back on the ground.

Ironically, as physically and emotionally hard the past days have been, I feel like I have been awakened. While my body seems to still be confused that its only 22 years young and not 92 years old, I feel like my mind and eyes have never been clearer.

Quote of the Day 11/3/11

"Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love."

(John 15:4-5,7,10)

Quote of the Day 10/5/11

"Faith crosses every border and touches every heart in every nation."    [George W. Bush]

Quote of the day 3/4/11

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”          [Gail Devers]