happiness is your choice

A few months ago I got a text that read: "I've learned that you have a great take on pretty much everything." Just a few simple words but they carried a lot of meaning. When I first read it, my initial mental response was "well doesn't everyone?" I guess in the context of whatever we were talking about, I didn't think I was saying anything great or deserving of such a statement. I was merely stating my thoughts on the matter. I guess I was just thinking that doesn't everyone try to find the silver lining or the good in the bad or outweigh positives with negatives? 

Whatever you want to call it, isn't it a whole lot easier to live when you focus on good things instead of the bad? If life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it, then doesn't that mean that we are somewhat in control in the way each day plays out?

In the past few weeks alone, I have heard a lot of conversations about pain, stress, confusion, complaints and the not so happy parts of life. At the same time, I have heard about joys, growth, love and general optimism about life. At the end of the day, the battles we are fighting and the problems we are facing are all the same. Problems are not unique. The details of a specific scenario might be, but there is nothing that has happened to someone that has never happened to anyone else. Hate to break it to you and me, but your problems and my problems and my neighbors problems are fundamentally the same. Pain always manifests itself through the same venues: because we are all human and we all make mistakes. And because we make mistakes, those mistakes hurt other people as an unfortunate by product. That is just the reality of the world we live in. 

Or maybe your problem isn't, per say, pain. Maybe you're just confused about life. Maybe you overloaded yourself and are really stressed out. Maybe you failed a test. Maybe you forgot to pack a lunch and now you're just angry out of sheer hunger. Maybe traffic is pissing you off or that car that just stole the parking space you've been waiting for. Maybe you're pissed off because your roommate never does the dishes or your boyfriend says all the wrong things. Maybe going to a class that has no relevance to life or working a job you aren't particular excited leaves you feeling moody and not particularly excited about life. To be honest, I don't blame you. Life can provide you with a million things to be not excited about and downright feeling really over it...

Or life can give you a million things to be excited about. It's kinda, actually, really up to you.

If you're confused about life, take some time and figure out why. Realize that is a part of life; the not knowing part. You don't always know everything in the moment and at first try. Or sometimes you do actually know but don't do it. Take responsibility for the things you have done and change that which can still be changed. Or, if you can't change your circumstances, change your attitude. Failing a test isn't fun but crying over it doesn't change the grade. 

Sometimes we live with people who don't get real life, like the reality that dishes don't wash themselves and trash doesn't magically disappear and even though you've tried to explain, this dishes and trash still pile up. I guess you can get upset and throw a fit, but sometimes these situations are lessons in grace, patience and just love for your neighbor. Your roommate may never change, but why deny yourself an opportunity to? Pointless classes are awful... until you choose to simply be thankful for a chance to get an education and the chance to learn. You won't be in school forever and from what I hear, you later look back with amazement at what a good part of life that was. Your boyfriend isn't perfect, he's human... talk it out, and if he's been hurting you for far too long, end it knowing that better things are to come. And if you're hungry all the time, grab a snickers... or go see a doctor. 

Pain of all circumstances is probably the hardest of all things to overcome. Pain is unexplainable. No amount of words can explain how we feel when we hurt. We feel a part of us withering away and as if the heart is being stabbed with a million knives. Everything hurts. You feel numb and withdrawn and all you want is be okay again. It's not always fixed with a forgive and forget, but it too can be partially fixed with our attitudes. There is a period of mourning but there is a period of getting it together. Someone else has dealt with your problem and made it out okay. You can choose to wallow forever and although we can blame others and certain situations for whatever happened, the end result ultimately depends on you. 

I would like to think that I am a generally happy person; I call myself an "optimist realist." What that basically means is that I am aware that the world is not one big happy place and people can really suck, but I also know that there is still joy and love left in the world. I believe that man is inherently driven by his own instincts but that there are also still those who choose to not simply live by instinct.

I know I've simplified some of the problems listed above. Some wounds are deeper than others and the remedy must fit accordingly. You can't put a band-aid on a gushing wound thinking it will fix the problem, but you also can't demand painkillers and bandages for a paper-cut. Sometimes we over complicate our problems by focusing on all the wrong things. We choose to be miserable. 

Experiencing happiness and joy on a day to day basis is a personal choice. Unfortunate or unpleasant things will keep happening all around us but how it affects you, comes down to you. I guess you can get mad, or you can get really glad. Glad for the life you live and glad for all the things that happen.

The past few weeks, I have made it a personal mission to live in joy and happiness. To live and be thankful for everything, the good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty, the hard, and the enjoyable. Some days its easier and some days its harder. Its a whole lot easier to gaze out unto the sun setting over the Pacific than it is to gaze on the new dent a stranger has graciously left on my bumper, sans insurance information. 

I want to continue to challenge myself every day to choose happiness and catching myself in moments where I lack gratitude and appreciation. I know this is a cheesy but its really true that every minute you are upset, you lose sixty seconds of happiness you will never get back. Sometimes when when its hard to be happy for yourself, be happy just for the sake of someone else, you never know how much the person next to you needs it. I want to be a person who not only has a "good take" on things but also lives out out a joy and happiness that is infectious.

You've got a choice to make too.

Choose to be happy, it's one of the best decision I've ever made. 

(now try reading this post again with this song playing in the background)