more reflections in the airport

(I wrote this two weeks ago, but due to school ending, have not had time to post, nevertheless, enjoy)  


      It is 5:18 am, but perhaps for me this is the time of most creativity and elaborate thinking. Not to mention, I am also at my most visited destination, the Santa Barbara Airport, waiting for my departure back to San Diego. I was able to spend 6 days at home to celebrate Easter. It was so nice to be able to catch a break and enjoy time with my wonderful, incredible family.
     The funny thing is that when I was flying home, I was thinking about how I could finally sleep in, relax, eat some good food, run a few errands and call it a day. Yet, in the back of my head somewhere I did not know if things would go according to plan... and they didn't.
     I have learned over the past year that I have more time in college, then I do when I am at home. Honestly, I can not even catch a break at home. There are times when all I want to is an hour to just be able to lay on the couch and not do anything. A few times I got irritated thinking why wont life ever slow down? or when will the craziness stop? But all along, I knew the answer: never.
     My "family" consists of 16 people. My parents (2), little sister, aunts (4), uncles (4), cousins (2), and grandparents (4).  Because we love each other, we are constantly doing things for each other and as we all know, "things" require time. As much as I want to check off tasks off a list really quick, it never seems to work out that. Things always come up, the grocery store runs out of butter and there always seems to roadwork on the 101 freeway. The 6 days I spent at home, I was waking earlier then I do for class, and I still ran out of time. I had barely enough time to finish my family tasks, let alone do anything for myself or see some friends.
     Yet, I do not say this with a bitterness or annoyance, my mother has constantly repeated to me that "your service to others is what life is all about." Family is also the most precious thing in anyone's life. As much as I want to go see some friends or lay on the couch, there are things of higher importance. I love my family and my service to them, whether picking up groceries, throwing a baby shower or helping cook, is the best way to show my love and appreciation, don't actions always speak louder than words?
     I do have those moments where I feel like a need a pause button, I need a pause but life can never just stop, someone will always need something and being there is what life is all about. Putting aside plans and checklists and just being there in times of need. Ralph Waldo Emerson was famously quoted saying :"...To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”  Sometimes I wish I could be one of those people who can just do something whenever I want to and not constantly turn down reschedule lunch dates and movies and going out, but life is not about what I want to do, its about what others need. Our priority should not be our needs and desires but those of others. I am not saying we all have to be sacrificial lambs but in a way I guess we do have to be. There is a fine line between sacrificing and completely over-stretching ourselves. My family is the biggest example to me, they are whenever and for whatever I may need them. Yes they have their own needs and goals, but I have seen so many times when they sacrifice what little of free time they may have
     Anyone who knows me, knows just how much my family means to me. I honestly, cannot even put into words the bond that we share. We complete each other, what one person lacks, the other person can fill in. I wish I did not have to be that person to cancel on lunch dates, movies, nights out, etc, but I have a duty to my family. I love my friends, they are some of the most amazing people I have ever met, but my family is my number 1.
     I know I have failed them at times. I have had times where I just wanted everyone to leave me alone and let me be,  but I am glad that did not let me do that. Society may stress that life is about being an individual, but in order to truly live life, we need to be part of a community. Even the most independent of people need a shoulder to lean on and cry on. I guess if whoever is reading this could get one message is that no matter how great your life is going or no matter how fantastic your friends may be, do not devalue your family. They are the best friends you could ever ask for.