Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Shout out to my roommate!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Quote of the day 3/24/11
“People don’t want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.” [Chuck Palahniuk quotes]
Monday, March 21, 2011
Quote of the day 3/21/11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you...." [Jeremiah 29]
the upside of change
Fact about me: I do not really like moving. Moving rooms, houses, cities, countries... just the though of having to pack tons of boxes and then unpack them makes me cringe, throw in the idea of getting used to a new place called home, well I might just cry. Even though I usually do not cry, I cannot help but get sentimental.
This weekend, I had to go home to help my family do some packing and some moving around. As eager as I was to help, I could not dismiss the memories flooding into my mind at the sight of furniture leaving, and old things being tossed away. Now do not get me wrong, hoarding is wrong and i actually quite enjoyed tossing kitchen appliances and glass vases into a dumpster and watching them break into a million pieces... extreme home makeover much? But as I drove away, I could not help but think "things will never be the same."
While part of that statement is true, I realized that I was not looking at the bigger picture. The fact is that so many positives things come out of change. Change is the how we grow and how we mature. If we always stay in one place, in one town and with the same people, the more we will grow comfortable and resistant. Looking back on my big move Georgia to California, I realized how many countless blessings came out of that very, very painful move. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I would be a completely different person had it not happened and to be honest, I am not sure I would still want to be that same person. I was pushed beyond my comfort zones, to the point where it transformed, motivated me and because of that move, I am more bold, more firm in what I believe and know what direction I want to take in life.
While I was at home, I realized even more how much I appreciate my family. My uncles Tim and Daniel, put so much heart in there work that it put tears in my eyes. These men worked beyond limits, beyond pain, wanting only to help us much as they could. Work was not seized till everything was done, and till we felt comfortable and at ease. Although I know they had a million other tasks and responsibilities, we become their number one priority. For hours they worked humbly without complain. They are men worthy of praise, I cannot thank them enough and I want to marry a man who is like one of my uncles.
This past year has been an experience in its own. I have moved and live a new life in San Diego with friends that are incredible, loving and completely understanding. I have gained and lost things over the past year but looking back there is nothing I want back. Everything that has been lost, has been lost for a purpose. I know I may still shed a tear or too, next time change comes from around the corner, but those tears will only be tears of joy.
This weekend, I had to go home to help my family do some packing and some moving around. As eager as I was to help, I could not dismiss the memories flooding into my mind at the sight of furniture leaving, and old things being tossed away. Now do not get me wrong, hoarding is wrong and i actually quite enjoyed tossing kitchen appliances and glass vases into a dumpster and watching them break into a million pieces... extreme home makeover much? But as I drove away, I could not help but think "things will never be the same."
While part of that statement is true, I realized that I was not looking at the bigger picture. The fact is that so many positives things come out of change. Change is the how we grow and how we mature. If we always stay in one place, in one town and with the same people, the more we will grow comfortable and resistant. Looking back on my big move Georgia to California, I realized how many countless blessings came out of that very, very painful move. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I would be a completely different person had it not happened and to be honest, I am not sure I would still want to be that same person. I was pushed beyond my comfort zones, to the point where it transformed, motivated me and because of that move, I am more bold, more firm in what I believe and know what direction I want to take in life.
While I was at home, I realized even more how much I appreciate my family. My uncles Tim and Daniel, put so much heart in there work that it put tears in my eyes. These men worked beyond limits, beyond pain, wanting only to help us much as they could. Work was not seized till everything was done, and till we felt comfortable and at ease. Although I know they had a million other tasks and responsibilities, we become their number one priority. For hours they worked humbly without complain. They are men worthy of praise, I cannot thank them enough and I want to marry a man who is like one of my uncles.
This past year has been an experience in its own. I have moved and live a new life in San Diego with friends that are incredible, loving and completely understanding. I have gained and lost things over the past year but looking back there is nothing I want back. Everything that has been lost, has been lost for a purpose. I know I may still shed a tear or too, next time change comes from around the corner, but those tears will only be tears of joy.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Quote of the day 3/17/11
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go” [Oscar Wilde]
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The start of my bucket list
I have decided that now is the perfect time to begin a bucket list and continue to build it year after year. God permitting, these are some things I'd like to do/accomplish:
1. Go to Australia
2. Scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef
3. Go swimming with sharks (in a shark cage of course!)
4. Go to South Africa (Johannesburg, Cape Town and a safari please!) - must be done ASAP
5. Swim with dolphins
6. Attend the World Cup
7. Attend the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics
8. Race my heart out on the German Autobahn
9. Sky-dive
10. Tour the ruins of Pompeii
11. Climb a part of Mount Everest
12. Walk the Great Wall of China
13. Meet Sam Edelman
14. Buy a black Bentley Continental GTC
15. Live in London
16. Ride in a hot air balloon
1. Go to Australia
2. Scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef
3. Go swimming with sharks (in a shark cage of course!)
4. Go to South Africa (Johannesburg, Cape Town and a safari please!) - must be done ASAP
5. Swim with dolphins
6. Attend the World Cup
7. Attend the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics
8. Race my heart out on the German Autobahn
9. Sky-dive
10. Tour the ruins of Pompeii
11. Climb a part of Mount Everest
12. Walk the Great Wall of China
13. Meet Sam Edelman
14. Buy a black Bentley Continental GTC
15. Live in London
16. Ride in a hot air balloon
Quote of the day 3/15/11
“It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship.” [Henry Ward Beecher]
Confrontations
Confrontations. Confronting. Arguing. Misunderstanding.
Well, these are all quite unpleasant feelings. In fact, they are more then just unpleasant. Simply put, they suck. No one wants to do it and no one wants to be on the receiving end. But because no one likes to get their feelings hurt and no one wants to hurt feelings, we avoid the idea of confrontation. We hope the problem will go away, resolve itself or we can make a wish on a star and the next morning life is perfect as can be.
Ever since Kindergarten, we have been told to always attempt to "communicate" and try to verbalize what is preventing us from sleeping peacefully at night. We need to address the problem right away and whenever we feel that their has been misunderstanding or hurt.
When I was little, I hated and dreaded the idea of confrontation. I never told anyone how I felt, I just simply held it all in. That worked out fairly well, till one day I had reached my maximum capacity.. So then I thought, well maybe I need to address everything, but then that resulted in too many headaches. I have since learned that I need to confront very select people. The people I confront are the people that I care the most deeply about. Its the people that I see something else in, a little something different and the people I see being part of my life for many years to come.
Yes, there have been girl friends who spread rumors and gossip and I knew they had serious misunderstandings. I chose not to ask them about it because, frankly, I did not want an unnecessary headache, drama and honestly did not see them being a part of my life 5 years from that moment.
The last 5 years of my life have provided me with the biggest life learning lessons. They say you do not know who you are till mid to end of your twenties but I do not think you can put a number on something like that. I have really found myself, my voice and the things I hold true. The next five years therefore will be about whether or not I can now put these things to action. Since I have established to myself my thoughts of confrontation, I can say that over the past 5 years, I can count on one hand the amount of confrontations I have had. Sure there were people that I wanted to ask them some questions, but I did not. There is no need for extra drama and headache and heartache, life already provides that without ever asking your permission.
Confrontation is in no way "fun" but it is sometimes necessary. When you care about someone so much, there is bound to be conflict. No friendship or relationship is without its flaws or bumpy times. Words get misread and reactions get misunderstood; we are all only human after all.
I have two very incredible best friends who know me and know that if I say I need to ask someone some questions, this must be a person who means a lot to me and I care too much about our friendship to simply sweep things under the rug and hope they go away. We cannot live in denial, but we cannot live in constant argument either. We need to pick and choose our battles wisely. Not to fight where our ego has been bruised (because people will do this to us till the day we die) but rather to fight for something that matters. There are people who we know that are worth fighting for. Yet, it will not always go in your favor, it will not always pay off, but some things need to be said.
The few times I have confronted people, I have always attempted to do it with the upmost love and kindness and the most sincere of intentions, honest to God. Did it always go over well? No, but I have mentioned quite a few times in my blog that not every one will like you and stick around to be a part of your life.
But, I can say that I can sleep peacefully at night knowing I did my part and while I waited with open arms, they decided to look the other way. I am more because of it and live peacefully knowing not all things are meant to be. I tried, and that's the best I can do.
Well, these are all quite unpleasant feelings. In fact, they are more then just unpleasant. Simply put, they suck. No one wants to do it and no one wants to be on the receiving end. But because no one likes to get their feelings hurt and no one wants to hurt feelings, we avoid the idea of confrontation. We hope the problem will go away, resolve itself or we can make a wish on a star and the next morning life is perfect as can be.
Ever since Kindergarten, we have been told to always attempt to "communicate" and try to verbalize what is preventing us from sleeping peacefully at night. We need to address the problem right away and whenever we feel that their has been misunderstanding or hurt.
When I was little, I hated and dreaded the idea of confrontation. I never told anyone how I felt, I just simply held it all in. That worked out fairly well, till one day I had reached my maximum capacity.. So then I thought, well maybe I need to address everything, but then that resulted in too many headaches. I have since learned that I need to confront very select people. The people I confront are the people that I care the most deeply about. Its the people that I see something else in, a little something different and the people I see being part of my life for many years to come.
Yes, there have been girl friends who spread rumors and gossip and I knew they had serious misunderstandings. I chose not to ask them about it because, frankly, I did not want an unnecessary headache, drama and honestly did not see them being a part of my life 5 years from that moment.
The last 5 years of my life have provided me with the biggest life learning lessons. They say you do not know who you are till mid to end of your twenties but I do not think you can put a number on something like that. I have really found myself, my voice and the things I hold true. The next five years therefore will be about whether or not I can now put these things to action. Since I have established to myself my thoughts of confrontation, I can say that over the past 5 years, I can count on one hand the amount of confrontations I have had. Sure there were people that I wanted to ask them some questions, but I did not. There is no need for extra drama and headache and heartache, life already provides that without ever asking your permission.
Confrontation is in no way "fun" but it is sometimes necessary. When you care about someone so much, there is bound to be conflict. No friendship or relationship is without its flaws or bumpy times. Words get misread and reactions get misunderstood; we are all only human after all.
I have two very incredible best friends who know me and know that if I say I need to ask someone some questions, this must be a person who means a lot to me and I care too much about our friendship to simply sweep things under the rug and hope they go away. We cannot live in denial, but we cannot live in constant argument either. We need to pick and choose our battles wisely. Not to fight where our ego has been bruised (because people will do this to us till the day we die) but rather to fight for something that matters. There are people who we know that are worth fighting for. Yet, it will not always go in your favor, it will not always pay off, but some things need to be said.
The few times I have confronted people, I have always attempted to do it with the upmost love and kindness and the most sincere of intentions, honest to God. Did it always go over well? No, but I have mentioned quite a few times in my blog that not every one will like you and stick around to be a part of your life.
But, I can say that I can sleep peacefully at night knowing I did my part and while I waited with open arms, they decided to look the other way. I am more because of it and live peacefully knowing not all things are meant to be. I tried, and that's the best I can do.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Quote of the day 3/12/11
“They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.” [Anonymous]
Friday, March 11, 2011
Opposites attract
For the past few weeks I have really wanted to write this blog, this specific topic has been on my mind for a while now. In my life I have lived in 2 different countries, 3 different states and 6 different cities. Throughout all these places, I have met so many different people. People who I really liked and they liked me, people I liked and they did not like me, and people I really did not click with, but then again, thats life. Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try.
There are people who I met which were really different from me. We have different goals, ideals, political affiliations, hobbies, beliefs and ideas about what's right and wrong, yet somehow, despite all the differences, we clicked. They say opposites attract, which they may but they usually get to point where the attraction starts repelling. Somehow, there are these few people that are always on my mind. I do now know how or why but I feel like God put those specific people in my life for a very specific person. We met under unusual circumstances, yet it was not just luck or chance. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that these people are meant to be in my life and I have a divine responsibility to keep them there.
These individuals are so unique and special in their own way. They challenge me, enlighten me and maybe at points irritate me when out interests and thoughts clash. Yet, they are willing to listen, to accept or to agree to disagree. They are truly brilliant, and will succeed so much in life.
Unfortunately, because of time, distance, work and school, these friendships sometimes slip, and lose momentum. It is definitely hard to always be there for someone, 100% of the time. Perhaps some of these very special individuals will read this post, and I want them to know that they mean the world to me. They have shown me different perspectives on life and love. They listened when they did not agree and did not let our overwhelming differences get in the way. I am more of a person because I met them and would be less had I not.
There are people who I met which were really different from me. We have different goals, ideals, political affiliations, hobbies, beliefs and ideas about what's right and wrong, yet somehow, despite all the differences, we clicked. They say opposites attract, which they may but they usually get to point where the attraction starts repelling. Somehow, there are these few people that are always on my mind. I do now know how or why but I feel like God put those specific people in my life for a very specific person. We met under unusual circumstances, yet it was not just luck or chance. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that these people are meant to be in my life and I have a divine responsibility to keep them there.
These individuals are so unique and special in their own way. They challenge me, enlighten me and maybe at points irritate me when out interests and thoughts clash. Yet, they are willing to listen, to accept or to agree to disagree. They are truly brilliant, and will succeed so much in life.
Unfortunately, because of time, distance, work and school, these friendships sometimes slip, and lose momentum. It is definitely hard to always be there for someone, 100% of the time. Perhaps some of these very special individuals will read this post, and I want them to know that they mean the world to me. They have shown me different perspectives on life and love. They listened when they did not agree and did not let our overwhelming differences get in the way. I am more of a person because I met them and would be less had I not.
Quote of the day 3/11/11
"Bits and pieces, bits and pieces. People. People important to you, People unimportant to you cross your life, touch it with love and move on. There are people who leave you and you breathe a sigh of relief and wonder why you ever came into contact with them. There are people who leave you, and you breathe a sigh of remorse and wonder why they had to go and leave such a gaping hole. Children leave parents, friends leave friends. Acquaintances move on. People change homes. People grow apart. Enemies hate and move on. Friends love and move on. You think of the many people who have moved in and out of your hazy memory. You look at those present and wonder. I believe in god's master plan in lives. He moves people in and out of each other's lives, and each leaves his mark on the other. You find you are made up of bits and pieces of all who have ever touched your life. You are more because of them, and would be less if they had not touched you. Pray that you accept the bits and pieces in humility and wonder, and never question and never regret's. Bit's and pieces, bits and pieces." [Anonymous]
forgive and forget
What is harder: a) to forgive someone or b) to forget someone? I used to think that forgiveness was harder but if you picked "b" then I am on your boat now. Since I am no longer in 6th grade and think I know everything about life, I have realized just how imperfect I am and same goes to all the people around me. Therefore if I expect for people to forgive me then I must always then return the favor to them, no matter how many times they mess up. After all, in Matthew it says: "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." 77 times is a lot, so clearly all of us have tons off forgiving to do over our lifetimes. No matter how hurt you are by someones actions or words, one can only achieve healing by first forgiving. Forgiveness may seem impossible, but it is inevitable.
After forgiveness, comes the tricky part, to forget or to not forget. I do not think it is wrong to "forget someone." Many people walk in and out of our lives. Some are a mistake and some are part of God's greater plan in order to shape us, mature us and teach us a lesson or two about life. It is nearly impossible to stay in touch with every single person you meet, time is limited and therefore we must pick and choose who will most beneficial to our lives, hearts and minds.
The funny thing is that everyone will agree that we all need "healthy" relationships but yet we lose those, we let distance, time zones, laziness, the Bachelor, Facebook, youtube videos of Charlie Sheen's latest rant get in the way of a phone-call or text to keep up a friendship. But what about the "unhealthy" relationships? If we are all honest with ourselves, we know at some point or another, or right about now, we have all spent SO much time on a not-so-great friendship/relationship.
I have learned that not everyone has your best interests at heart. There are people who simply need to be forgiven and consequently forgotten. But forgetting is hard because we tend to cling on to the "good times," the memories and the laughs. We think people will change, come to their senses and clean up their act but it just does not happen like that. There are people who I wish I had not invested my time into, but I did. They put on a good show, said all the right things and made me feel like they cared. Instead, I was a temporary distraction till something better came along. Yet with all these realizations, sometimes I still see glimmers of hope and can hold on to something I know in the deepest part of my heart is just one bad idea.
When we have invested so much time and energy into someone, we become committed, whether we want to admit it or not. If only we could simply leave, forgive and forget someone at the moment we realized they were not good for us, but it is easier said than done. They can use us and we become okay with it because once upon a time it was better, or we like temporary excitement over delayed gratification.
The only way to know whether to let go or hold on is in my opinion, to pray and seek God's will and to be honest with yourself. Put logic over feelings/emotion and forgive and forget in order to avoid more regret.
After forgiveness, comes the tricky part, to forget or to not forget. I do not think it is wrong to "forget someone." Many people walk in and out of our lives. Some are a mistake and some are part of God's greater plan in order to shape us, mature us and teach us a lesson or two about life. It is nearly impossible to stay in touch with every single person you meet, time is limited and therefore we must pick and choose who will most beneficial to our lives, hearts and minds.
The funny thing is that everyone will agree that we all need "healthy" relationships but yet we lose those, we let distance, time zones, laziness, the Bachelor, Facebook, youtube videos of Charlie Sheen's latest rant get in the way of a phone-call or text to keep up a friendship. But what about the "unhealthy" relationships? If we are all honest with ourselves, we know at some point or another, or right about now, we have all spent SO much time on a not-so-great friendship/relationship.
I have learned that not everyone has your best interests at heart. There are people who simply need to be forgiven and consequently forgotten. But forgetting is hard because we tend to cling on to the "good times," the memories and the laughs. We think people will change, come to their senses and clean up their act but it just does not happen like that. There are people who I wish I had not invested my time into, but I did. They put on a good show, said all the right things and made me feel like they cared. Instead, I was a temporary distraction till something better came along. Yet with all these realizations, sometimes I still see glimmers of hope and can hold on to something I know in the deepest part of my heart is just one bad idea.
When we have invested so much time and energy into someone, we become committed, whether we want to admit it or not. If only we could simply leave, forgive and forget someone at the moment we realized they were not good for us, but it is easier said than done. They can use us and we become okay with it because once upon a time it was better, or we like temporary excitement over delayed gratification.
The only way to know whether to let go or hold on is in my opinion, to pray and seek God's will and to be honest with yourself. Put logic over feelings/emotion and forgive and forget in order to avoid more regret.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Quote of the day 3/9/11
"We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
But long that we'd have the faith to believe
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise."
Taken from the song "Blessings" by Laura Story
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
But long that we'd have the faith to believe
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise."
Taken from the song "Blessings" by Laura Story
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Quote of the day 3/8/11
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." [Oscar Wilde] |
Quote of the day 3/8/11
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." [Oscar Wilde]
|
Friday, March 4, 2011
Deepest Gratitude to Sam Edelman
Ladies, what have we heard from a young age over and over again? I recall the statement: "Beauty is pain." We have learned over time that cute and comfy are two adjectives that do not usually go together. Working 8, 9, 10 hour days sometime at Nordstrom, I learned the importance of having comfortable shoes. Unfortunately, most of the shoes that I liked, where better on display then on my feet. But, I have discovered a designer who knows how to defy standards and make extremely chic shoes which are just as good on, as they are to look at.
I do not know how he does it, but designer Sam Edelman makes the most heavenly shoes. They are beautiful crafted, yet durable and extremely comfortable. One day I know I will meet him and will thank him from the bottom of my heart for making shoes that prove that beauty does not always have to result in pain. His prices are slightly higher but they are worth every penny. Imagine wearing 5 inch stilettos for hours but never having to suffer the consequences. Check him out at samedelman.com and you'll have your cake and eat it too.
 |
| |
Avoidable mistakes or necessary lessons?
I have been thinking lately a lot about the role of our parents in our lives. When we are young, our parents are our greatest heroes, mentors and role models. Yet, somehow, as we grow older, we have this desire to separate ourselves from them. I hear a lot of: "Now its my time to find out who I am so I need to make my own choices and decisions apart from my parents" or "I am an adult and I need to make my own mistakes."
In my life, my parents were, are and will always be a big part of my life. God gave us the parents that we have for a very specific reason, it wasn't just an accident or a chance of fate. There is a VERY specific reason for why you have the parents you have. I think that much of our society views parents as the people that are part of your life for a specific period of time and when you reach a certain age ( society seems to have settled at the ripe age of 18) then your parents should sit in the shadows for a while, while you figure out who you are and what you want to do with your life. This is the downfall of our generation.
When I was younger, I did not fight much with my parents but I do remember one specific fight. As I angrily stormed out of the room I yelled: "Why don't you guys just let me make my own decisions and let me learn from my mistakes!" At the moment I remember thinking that I was so right and they were so wrong. Life is about making mistakes and learning and growing from them.... right?
As I look back, that is the dumbest, ignorant, and immature statement I have ever made. I remember my mom sitting me down saying: "I love you and why would I want you to hurt yourself just to learn a lesson." I have learned over the past few years that our society has this skewed perception that mistakes are absolutely necessary to our growth. I mean, there is truth to this statement, but this idea seems to be taken too far too many times. We don't need to jump a cliff to know that its going to be painful and potentially deadly.
This is where our parents play such a crucial role in our lives. Our parents are full of wisdom, countless life lessons and perhaps even have the answer to our pressing life questions and concerns. They know us and understand us, even at those moments that we think they do not.
My parents have raised me with the idea that they are responsible for me till the day that I marry my husband. God has put this command on all parents and will hold them responsible for our actions. It may seem so unnecessary and perhaps even absurd. How are we suppose to find ourselves and be responsible adults if our parents are always there?
As we get older, enter college, get real jobs, we obviously do not need our parents like we did in kindergarten. They no longer have to hold our hand or pack us lunches. We simply need our parents in a different way. We need their guidance and wisdom. We will all make countless mistakes on our life journey, so why add even more pain? Our parents can keep us from adding extra burdens on ourselves. It saddens me when I see people talking badly about their parents, or disregarding them.
Our parents have so much to share with us and want their children's friendship and relationship. Why struggle and search for answers in self help books, psychologists or Oprah? We have everything we need just waiting for us to reach out. Don't forget about one of the biggest blessings in your life, your parents. Parents are God's gift to us.
In my life, my parents were, are and will always be a big part of my life. God gave us the parents that we have for a very specific reason, it wasn't just an accident or a chance of fate. There is a VERY specific reason for why you have the parents you have. I think that much of our society views parents as the people that are part of your life for a specific period of time and when you reach a certain age ( society seems to have settled at the ripe age of 18) then your parents should sit in the shadows for a while, while you figure out who you are and what you want to do with your life. This is the downfall of our generation.
When I was younger, I did not fight much with my parents but I do remember one specific fight. As I angrily stormed out of the room I yelled: "Why don't you guys just let me make my own decisions and let me learn from my mistakes!" At the moment I remember thinking that I was so right and they were so wrong. Life is about making mistakes and learning and growing from them.... right?
As I look back, that is the dumbest, ignorant, and immature statement I have ever made. I remember my mom sitting me down saying: "I love you and why would I want you to hurt yourself just to learn a lesson." I have learned over the past few years that our society has this skewed perception that mistakes are absolutely necessary to our growth. I mean, there is truth to this statement, but this idea seems to be taken too far too many times. We don't need to jump a cliff to know that its going to be painful and potentially deadly.
This is where our parents play such a crucial role in our lives. Our parents are full of wisdom, countless life lessons and perhaps even have the answer to our pressing life questions and concerns. They know us and understand us, even at those moments that we think they do not.
My parents have raised me with the idea that they are responsible for me till the day that I marry my husband. God has put this command on all parents and will hold them responsible for our actions. It may seem so unnecessary and perhaps even absurd. How are we suppose to find ourselves and be responsible adults if our parents are always there?
As we get older, enter college, get real jobs, we obviously do not need our parents like we did in kindergarten. They no longer have to hold our hand or pack us lunches. We simply need our parents in a different way. We need their guidance and wisdom. We will all make countless mistakes on our life journey, so why add even more pain? Our parents can keep us from adding extra burdens on ourselves. It saddens me when I see people talking badly about their parents, or disregarding them.
Our parents have so much to share with us and want their children's friendship and relationship. Why struggle and search for answers in self help books, psychologists or Oprah? We have everything we need just waiting for us to reach out. Don't forget about one of the biggest blessings in your life, your parents. Parents are God's gift to us.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Quote of the day 3/2/11
“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.” [Marie Curie]
is trust a must?
"Love all, trust few."
“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.”
“The best proof of love is trust.”
“Doubt is the beginning not the end of wisdom.”
The quotations above reflect a common theme; the theme of trust. So what is trust? Webster's defines trust as "assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something." To me, trust is a one syllable words with a countless amount of possibilities. I think that each person, based on how they were raised and past experiences, approaches trust from a different perspective. Some people can trust anyone instantly and others take weeks, even years to fully trust someone or something.
Is it wrong to trust right away? Or is it wrong to wait? Personally, my life philosophy has been to love all, trust few. Some have told me thats a smart way to go and some have flat out told me that is a horrible way to live. I appreciate their honesty, however, my family has raised me to live that way and I cannot thank them enough for it. As I look back on the the girls in middle school I wanted to open up myself too, or the cute boy who has almost convinced you that he would never ever break your heart, or even a hairdresser (isn't that what their second job is, talking?) , I am beyond thankful that I did not.
Was it a lack of trust or just a custom that went from the home to the daily public life? Probably some sort of combination of the two. I know that as I look back, I remember moments in my life where I felt really telling someone whats on my heart or my mind or in my past and yet, this feeling deep, down somewhere told me not to. I realize now how thankful I am that I listened to this inner voice. Being so called "optimistic but realistic" I know that everyone has moments of weakness and failure. We are only human, and each one of us has unknowingly (or knowingly) compromised or even broken the trust they had with someone else. We have all done it. Some of us, in moments of weakness, have the tendency to just use what we know about someone in order to get them back. Although we all regret it in the morning, revenge may temporarily satisfy our hurt.
The thing is that once words are spoken, there is no talking them back. We say that "sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will never hurt me," yet we all, at our core, know this is not true. Even the strongest can break down when enough words are spoken.
The other thought that crosses my mind is the ever so famous question "Why don't you trust me?" All of us have repeatedly, at various points, angrily shouted this question at our parents. My mother, the smart woman she is, always had the same answer: "I trust you, but with trust comes verification." At first response, the thought is, "you must have doubt if you need to verify me in the first place." But looking back, I understand EXACTLY where she is coming from. We are all human, we all make mistakes, and at some points we have all wanted to cheat a little, to cut a corner and see how much we can get away with.
Therefore, I stand firm in my philosophy. Not everyone has to be trusted and it is okay to have doubt. Doubt is a part of our human nature. If the person waiting for your trust really truly, honestly desires your trust then they will wait. If someone cannot wait, then maybe they do not deserve your trust in the first place. Trust does not happen over night, or in a week or in a month, it is a life long process, that grows and matures with time. One of my favorite quotes is: "Sometimes we put up walls not to keep people out but rather to see who is willing to knock them down." I think its okay to put a wall where necessary, to see a persons true colors. Does this mean we should do through life being skeptical of all humanity? Definitely not. Trust is the cornerstone of love and everyone wants to be loved. Just remember that everyone is human, and trust is a risk. If the person is right, then the risk is worth taking but figuring out if the person is meant to be trusted? Well, that one is up to y'all....no one said life was going to be easy.... :)
“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.”
“The best proof of love is trust.”
“Doubt is the beginning not the end of wisdom.”
The quotations above reflect a common theme; the theme of trust. So what is trust? Webster's defines trust as "assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something." To me, trust is a one syllable words with a countless amount of possibilities. I think that each person, based on how they were raised and past experiences, approaches trust from a different perspective. Some people can trust anyone instantly and others take weeks, even years to fully trust someone or something.
Is it wrong to trust right away? Or is it wrong to wait? Personally, my life philosophy has been to love all, trust few. Some have told me thats a smart way to go and some have flat out told me that is a horrible way to live. I appreciate their honesty, however, my family has raised me to live that way and I cannot thank them enough for it. As I look back on the the girls in middle school I wanted to open up myself too, or the cute boy who has almost convinced you that he would never ever break your heart, or even a hairdresser (isn't that what their second job is, talking?) , I am beyond thankful that I did not.
Was it a lack of trust or just a custom that went from the home to the daily public life? Probably some sort of combination of the two. I know that as I look back, I remember moments in my life where I felt really telling someone whats on my heart or my mind or in my past and yet, this feeling deep, down somewhere told me not to. I realize now how thankful I am that I listened to this inner voice. Being so called "optimistic but realistic" I know that everyone has moments of weakness and failure. We are only human, and each one of us has unknowingly (or knowingly) compromised or even broken the trust they had with someone else. We have all done it. Some of us, in moments of weakness, have the tendency to just use what we know about someone in order to get them back. Although we all regret it in the morning, revenge may temporarily satisfy our hurt.
The thing is that once words are spoken, there is no talking them back. We say that "sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will never hurt me," yet we all, at our core, know this is not true. Even the strongest can break down when enough words are spoken.
The other thought that crosses my mind is the ever so famous question "Why don't you trust me?" All of us have repeatedly, at various points, angrily shouted this question at our parents. My mother, the smart woman she is, always had the same answer: "I trust you, but with trust comes verification." At first response, the thought is, "you must have doubt if you need to verify me in the first place." But looking back, I understand EXACTLY where she is coming from. We are all human, we all make mistakes, and at some points we have all wanted to cheat a little, to cut a corner and see how much we can get away with.
Therefore, I stand firm in my philosophy. Not everyone has to be trusted and it is okay to have doubt. Doubt is a part of our human nature. If the person waiting for your trust really truly, honestly desires your trust then they will wait. If someone cannot wait, then maybe they do not deserve your trust in the first place. Trust does not happen over night, or in a week or in a month, it is a life long process, that grows and matures with time. One of my favorite quotes is: "Sometimes we put up walls not to keep people out but rather to see who is willing to knock them down." I think its okay to put a wall where necessary, to see a persons true colors. Does this mean we should do through life being skeptical of all humanity? Definitely not. Trust is the cornerstone of love and everyone wants to be loved. Just remember that everyone is human, and trust is a risk. If the person is right, then the risk is worth taking but figuring out if the person is meant to be trusted? Well, that one is up to y'all....no one said life was going to be easy.... :)
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Quote of the day 3/1/11
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” [Eleanor Roosevelt]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)