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Friday, March 4, 2011

Avoidable mistakes or necessary lessons?

     I have been thinking lately a lot about the role of our parents in our lives. When we are young, our parents are our greatest heroes, mentors and role models. Yet, somehow, as we grow older, we have this desire to separate ourselves from them. I hear a lot of: "Now its my time to find out who I am so I need to make my own choices and decisions apart from my parents" or "I am an adult and I need to make my own mistakes."
     In my life, my parents were, are and will always be a big part of my life. God gave us the parents that we have for a very specific reason, it wasn't just an accident or a chance of fate. There is a VERY specific reason for why you have the parents you have. I think that much of our society views parents as the people that are part of your life for a specific period of time and when you reach a certain age ( society seems to have settled at the ripe age of 18) then your parents should sit in the shadows for a while, while you figure out who you are and what you want to do with your life. This is the downfall of our generation.
     When I was younger, I did not fight much with my parents but I do remember one specific fight. As I angrily stormed out of the room I yelled: "Why don't you guys just let me make my own decisions and let me learn from my mistakes!" At the moment I remember thinking that I was so right and they were so wrong. Life is about making mistakes and learning and growing from them.... right?
     As I look back, that is the dumbest, ignorant, and immature statement I have ever made. I remember my mom sitting me down saying: "I love you and why would I want you to hurt yourself just to learn a lesson." I have learned over the past few years that our society has this skewed perception that mistakes are absolutely necessary to our growth. I mean, there is truth to this statement, but this idea seems to be taken too far too many times. We don't need to jump a cliff to know that its going to be painful and potentially deadly. 
     This is where our parents play such a crucial role in our lives. Our parents are full of wisdom, countless life lessons and perhaps even have the answer to our pressing life questions and concerns. They know us and understand us, even at those moments that we think they do not.
     My parents have raised me with the idea that they are responsible for me till the day that I marry my husband. God has put this command on all parents and will hold them responsible for our actions. It may seem so unnecessary and perhaps even absurd. How are we suppose to find ourselves and be responsible adults if our parents are always there? 
     As we get older, enter college, get real jobs, we obviously do not need our parents like we did in kindergarten. They no longer have to hold our hand or pack us lunches. We simply need our parents in a different way. We need their guidance and wisdom. We will all make countless mistakes on our life journey, so why add even more pain? Our parents can keep us from adding extra burdens on ourselves. It saddens me when I see people talking badly about their parents, or disregarding them. 
     Our parents have so much to share with us and want their children's friendship and relationship. Why struggle and search for answers in self help books, psychologists or Oprah? We have everything we need just waiting for us to reach out. Don't forget about one of the biggest blessings in your life, your parents. Parents are God's gift to us.

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