forgive and forget

     What is harder: a) to forgive someone or b) to forget someone? I used to think that forgiveness was harder but if you picked "b" then I am on your boat now. Since I am no longer in 6th grade and think I know everything about life, I have realized just how imperfect I am and same goes to all the people around me. Therefore if I expect for people to forgive me then I must always then return the favor to them, no matter how many times they mess up. After all, in Matthew it says: "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." 77 times is a lot, so clearly all of us have tons off forgiving to do over our lifetimes. No matter how hurt you are by someones actions or words, one can only achieve healing by first forgiving. Forgiveness may seem impossible, but it is inevitable.
     After forgiveness, comes the tricky part, to forget or to not forget. I do not think it is wrong to "forget someone." Many people walk in and out of our lives. Some are a mistake and some are part of God's greater plan in order to shape us, mature us and teach us a lesson or two about life. It is nearly impossible to stay in touch with every single person you meet, time is limited and therefore we must pick and choose who will most beneficial to our lives, hearts and minds. 
     The funny thing is that everyone will agree that we all need "healthy" relationships but yet we lose those, we let distance, time zones, laziness, the Bachelor, Facebook, youtube videos of Charlie Sheen's latest rant get in the way of a phone-call or text to keep up a friendship. But what about the "unhealthy" relationships? If we are all honest with ourselves, we know at some point or another, or right about now, we have all spent SO much time on a not-so-great friendship/relationship.
     I have learned that not everyone has your best interests at heart. There are people who simply need to be forgiven and consequently forgotten. But forgetting is hard because we tend to cling on to the "good times," the memories and the laughs. We think people will change, come to their senses and clean up their act but it just does not happen like that. There are people who I wish I had not invested my time into, but I did. They put on a good show, said all the right things and made me feel like they cared. Instead, I was a temporary distraction till something better came along. Yet with all these realizations, sometimes I still see glimmers of hope and can hold on to something I know in the deepest part of my heart is just one bad idea. 
     When we have invested so much time and energy into someone, we become committed, whether we want to admit it or not. If only we could simply leave, forgive and forget someone at the moment we realized they were not good for us, but it is easier said than done. They can use us and we become okay with it because once upon a time it was better, or we like temporary excitement over delayed gratification. 
     The only way to know whether to let go or hold on is in my opinion, to pray and seek God's will and to be honest with yourself. Put logic over feelings/emotion and forgive and forget in order to avoid more regret.