Life Lessons With Lydia (and a Nov/Dec update)

The past few weeks have been exhausting, exhilarating, and educational:exhausting because you run on minimal sleep, exhilarating because life always throws a curveball or three and educational because well, you never stop learning. I have not written in a few weeks but in the meantime, I have been thinking and reflection about what I want to write. There is so much I have experienced and wrestled with the past few months but along the way I have discovered life lessons to abide by and things that naturally, I also struggle with. Ignore my cheesy title, I promise you will find these life lessons very applicable.

Merry Christmas!

Quote of the Day 12/22/11

"Just because the solutions of problems are not visible at any particular time does not mean that those problems will never be alleviated -- or confined to tolerable dimensions."                                  [M. I. Abramowitz]

Quote of the Day 12/20/11

"Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be."    [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]

Quote of the Day 12/11/11

"Let us be very careful not to fall into the trap of the world. The world views things only relative to man and to self. The Word of God views things relative to the Father, Son, and Spirit. Mankind is not the center of all things. No matter how great anyone's name might become, it is still far behind His. Our name comes from His life; the name of our Lord comes from the resurrection--the event unique to Him. The world has a problem; it seeks to honor, uphold, exonerate and generally praise itself. Our place and the place of the entire world system is to praise and exalt God. When people of the Bible caught a glimpse of Him, their lives were changed. Perhaps our lives remain stagnate because we do not spend enough time looking at Him."         [Roger Anderson]

Quote of the Day 12/9/11

"In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. The young they keep out of mischief; to the old they are a comfort and aid in their weakness, and those in the prime of life they incite to noble deeds."    [Aristotle] 

Quote of the Day 12/7/11

Still alive, promise. its almost finals week. 


"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan, 'press on' has solved, and always will solve, the problems of the human race."           [Calvin Coolidge]

Quote of the Day 12/3/11

"Don't talk unless you can improve the silence."          [Jorge Luis Borges]

Quote of the Day 12/1/11

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."       [Joseph Addison]

Quote of the Day 11/30/11

I promise I am still alive.... just incredibly busy... with life, but I'll be back soon enough. Please excuse my lack of blogging. But for now, here's a quote for y'all...

“Rules for Self Discovery: 

1. What we want most; 

2. What we think about most;

 3. How we use our money; 

4. What we do with our leisure time; 

5. The company we enjoy;

 6. Who and what we admire; 

7. What we laugh at.” 

[A.W. Tozer]

Quote of the Day 11/21/11

“People see God every day, they just don’t recognize him.”           [Pearl Bailey]

Happy Birthday Elizabeth!

    

     Wednesday was my aunt's birthday and today is the birthday of my one and only fantastic little sister, Elizabeth. Congrats on turning 12.... only one year away from experiencing the joys of being a teenager and PG-13 movies...

Happy Birthday Yana!

Today is a day worthy of great celebration.... it is the birthday of the wonderful, beautiful, inspiring, adventurous, spontaneous, loving, brilliant, virtuous Yana! 

Quote of the Day 11/16/11

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”                       [Albert Einstein]

Quote of the Day 11/8/11

"The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It's far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose."      [Rick Warren]

Quote of the Day 11/3/11

"Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love."

(John 15:4-5,7,10)

Quote of the Day 11/2/11

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well."    [Voltaire]

fear less, experience more

     Midterms are finally over and I can finally write a little bit again about something that has been on my mind over the past few days. I love Colbie Caillat... especially a lot ever since I saw her in concert at the House of Blues in Anaheim this past summer. Something about her, she is so calm and collected and so genuine about what she rights. One of my favorite songs of hers is "Fearless."  As I have driven to work lately, I have listened to that song and it got me thinking about what it means or what it is to fearless. I think that when we hear the word "fearless" we think about someone that is not scared of anything, as the dictionary defines it: "lacking fear" or "without fear." We can look at people we know or have known or even perhaps learned about and label them as fearless. We see such courage and strength in these people and wish we could be like them.

     I believe that it is impossible to be completely fearless, but I do believe that it is possible to fear-less. Even the strongest, bravest, biggest people have fears of some sort, but they don't allow themselves to be controlled by their fears. We all have many fears: fear of getting hurt, fear of knowing the truth, fear of rejection, fear of public speaking fear of heights, fear of bugs, and the list goes on and on. These fears hinder our ability to act in the way we ultimately wish we could. We don't go after the job we want because we are afraid we might not get it, we are afraid of traveling because we afraid of heights, we are afraid to talk to someone because they might reject us or perhaps on the flip side, we are afraid to be ourselves because we are afraid of what someone is going to think.

Quote of the Day 10/29/11

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."            [Winston Churchill]

Quote of the Day 10/18/11

"Out of clutter find simplicity; 

From discord find harmony; 

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

[Albert Einstein]

Quote of the Day 10/11/11

"Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil."
[C.S. Lewis]

Quote of the Day 10/9/11

"Never leave that 'till tomorrow which you can do today."       [Benjamin Franklin]

Quote of the Day 10/7/11

got this message and it reminded me that words don't cost anything but they sure buy a lot:

"So it's been ages since we met (and last spoke) but I have a story for you... 

So this morning (here in Joburg it's 8:40) I got caught in major traffic for an hour and landed up missing an important lecture. I was sitting in my car, feeling rather irritated, when I stumbled across your blog. Needless to say after reading it I felt inspired to just make the most of the rest of my day.

So thanks for that, it's exactly what I needed."

a personal update for october

     Life has been crazy... well a super good, amazing, hilarious, maturing, exhilarating type of crazy. Time is flying, literally flying by. It is flying by so quickly that even Mondays no longer upset me anymore because before I know it, it is Friday. They say time flies when you're having fun and that statement could not be any more applicable to me right now. I usually address general subjects in my blog so I have decided to switch it up a bit. I get so many calls, texts, messages and emails and I figured it would be nice to at least address some of the questions in this blog so that I can fill in the people I love a little bit of whats going on in my life. 
     I am finishing up my 6th week at school. This year is very different  from last year. Last year had its charm in its own unique way but this year... well it's only week 6 and I couldn't be happier. The people I interact with, the professors I am taught by and the picturesque scenery that I am surrounded by have completely, entirely, inspired me. This year, my goal is to be proactive and pursue the desires which Christ has placed within me. There have been so many things I have wanted to do and see and be and now is the time. I am surrounded by limitless opportunities and possibilities and I am eager to take them. Every day here is the greatest blessing. Every day is better than the one before it. Yes, my schedule is monotone during the school week: class, work, homework, gym, but I gladly do these things with joy and I spend the majority of my day in laughter. The kind of laughter where you lose your breath and your stomach hurts. I know it sounds so cliche but no matter what I do, it is so memorable. The people that have surrounded me see the good in everything; the most annoying or upsetting of tasks become hilarious unforgettable adventures. 
     I am finishing up my last polisci lower division class and it's a tough one. I love politics but I don't love science and  that is what this class is all about: the science of politics. In the past, I have given up on science and mathematics but this is no longer the case. I want to learn it all and love it and I accept the challenge. My professor has been so understanding and helpful and I thank God for professors like her, so gracious and willing to do whatever it takes to help. Also, my major requires that I study abroad, so in 10 months I will be a student in ROME (stay tuned for those adventures). I wish I could go now but based on how fast time is flying,I know that my italian adventures are right around the corner. 
     My days consist of one thing happening after another so it is crucial to stay focused and on track. So far I have been able to do things in a timely manner so pray for me to keep that pattern up since coffee no longer helps stimulate any energy in me whatsoever, and sleep is of the essence. 
     I wish that everyone could be experiencing what I am experiencing. To be surrounded with so much love, support and understanding; to be given limitless opportunity; to be cared for and sought out by professors; to spend the majority of your day in laughter; to feel God's presence surrounding you and inspiring you; to live in place resembling paradise; to fall asleep to the sound of crashing waves and wake up to ocean sunrises; and know that you are absolutely, 100% at the right place at the right time ... I am blessed. So blessed. 

Quote of the Day 10/6/11

editors note: Usually when a celebrity or famous person dies, we think about it for a few seconds and move on. Steve Jobs was more then just a celebrity or man with a lot of money. He has changed and revolutionized our generation. His creativity and never ending pursuit of changing the world will be truly missed. He pushed the boundaries of what we knew and brought technology to the next level. His life may have ended but his legacy will live on for generations to come. 

Quote of the Day 10/5/11

"Faith crosses every border and touches every heart in every nation."    [George W. Bush]

the gift of friendship

i love point loma for many, many reasons. one being that I have made some of the best, most fulfilling, inspiring, honest friendships. these people have changed my life forever, i have truely learned the meaning of "lifelong friendship." my fellow friend and blogger gave me a little shout out the other day in her blog about friendship. here is what the ever so brilliant masey schrader wrote:


If we are, as I have heard the rumor, a combination of the five people that we spend the most time with, then I think it is safe to agree that who we befriend matters. Where we invest our time, who we invest our time in, is either beneficial or detrimental to our own spiritual growth.
Friends are not just companions. They are models of character.
I could not talk highly enough of a young woman who has become one of my closest friends in the past year. Lydia's person sort of just speaks for itself though: her unselfish and genuine manners, classy presentation, adventurous spirit and confident mind, quick wit, and a faith that is rooted deeply in the image of Christ. I strive to be a person of her likeness.
Without sounding like I have or girl crush or that I am campaigning for her presidency, I'm gonna say that she's one worth stalking in the blogging realm. We need more brutally-honest, Russian woman to speak from the depths of their convictions. To challenge the consideration of priorities. To motivate inward change that produces tangible results. To remind us to live in laughter and love.

One of these women just so happens to be a dear friend. And how strengthened I am by her companionship


i humbly accept your kind words and know that i cannot put into words how much our friendship has touched my life.


read the rest of her honest, candid look on life at:
http://maseykole.blogspot.com/

Chaos over cupcakes

Cupcakes. Who doesn't love cupcakes...? Berkeley students apparently. 

     Recently, a bill was passed by the California State legislature and currently sits on Governor Jerry Brown's desk. The now infamous bill, SB 185, would allow the UC and CSU systems to consider race and other factors in college admission decisions. The problem is that the bill is in defiance of Proposition 209. Approved in 1996, the proposition established that the state of California prohibits public institutions from considering race, sex or ethnicity in their decision making process. With the way the bill is currently written, universities could accept an applicant on the factor of race alone. The language of the bill is vague and confusing. It would “authorize the University of California and the California State University to consider race, gender, ethnicity, and national origin, along with other relevant factors, in undergraduate and graduate admissions.” Yet it does not define how the factors are considered and weighed and what are "relevant factors?" Talk about ambiguity. 

     There are more fundamental components in the arena of higher education. I would argue that socioeconomic status is more relevant than one's inherent genetics. The bill never mentions that. Those who are outraged and call the college republicans racist should observe that in between the lines of the bill, the legislature is essentially  determining socioeconomic status based on what you look like. 

     This is what the Berkeley college republican are protesting. You cannot assume how much money a person has based on what they look like. Just because you are white, does not mean you have millions of dollars and a trust fund and just because you are Latino, does not mean you are working 5 jobs to support yourself. There are many white people in the United States living below a normal standard of living and many Latino families living extravagant lifestyles. It is not fair to say that the color of your skin determines your personal financial situations. We all have our own struggles and hardships and are dealt a different hand. We are constantly challenged to rise above the hardships and push ourselves to be the best we can be, in the circumstances we are put in. When an individual applies to a university, that is what they must be judged upon; what they did, with the resources they had, with the circumstances surrounding them. 

     The irritating part is that the Berkeley college republicans were just demonstrating their first amendment rights. They felt that the state legislature was out of line and were voicing their disapproval. What bothers me the most was how much backlash they got and are still getting. Some form of protest or demonstrations happen every day in the US. We have the right to say where ever and whenever we want that we feel that the government is not acting in our best interests. What this has showed is how much political correctness still reigns in our society. Frankly, the college republicans were the conservative minority in a liberal majority and that just doesn't fly these days. They are now the ignorant, racist, closed minded individuals on campus because they simply spoke up and voiced their opinion. They are now receiving numerous hate mail and threats. They wanted to awaken the minds of other students. We as students get so into our studies, friends and social life, we forget what is going on in the world around us.

I applaud the Berkeley college republicans, and their brave efforts to awaken the community.

Quote of the Day 10/4/11

"I’m trusting You’re the way   

I’m trusting You’re the way  

Trusting You’re the way my Savior"

[Taken from Tim Hughes recent song "Counting On Your Name"]

This song takes my breath away, check it out:

Quote of the Day 10/1/11

“That is the best - to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny.”          [Gloria Vanderbilt]

Quote of the Day 9/30/11

"it is in all of us to defy expectations, 

to go into the world and to be brave,

and to want, to need, to hunger for adventure,

to embrace change and chance and risk,

so that we may breathe,

and know what it is to be free"

[mae chevrette]

Quote of the Day 9/29/11

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.        [Francis Bacon]

Quote of the Day 9/23/11

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveller, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference

[Robert Frost]

Don't worry, Be happy.

  
     I should be doing homework... really. I have about 3 more hours and its midnight, but its one of those nights where my mind just goes off to do its own thing. I have been blogging for a few months now and it is getting the point where I will just be sitting somewhere and thoughts just pure into my head and they won't stop. Its that point where I have to surrender and just write. 
     I got to talk to my mom today for longer than usual tonight and it got me thinking. Thinking about how life would be had I not moved to California. I am confident in the fact that life would be completely different than how it has turned out thus far. I am pretty sure that I would either a) be married or b) be engaged and planning a wedding. Just piecing together stories and conversations and endless Facebook stalking and the nature of the slavic culture puts me at that conclusion. Not saying it is right or wrong because everyone has their own plan and life story, just saying life would be a whole lot different.
     Talking to friends tonight, we ended at "Classes are only going to get harder from here and life is only getting to get more complicated, I can't imagine fitting a boyfriend in." And this is a valid statement, entering upper division classes and jobs and internships and maintaing a 3.5 gpa isn't really the best basis for relationships. 10 years ago, even as a little child, I was convinced I was going to get married soon. Thats just the kind of culture I come from. High school ends and married life begins. Fast forward, I am in California at a 4 year university with 2 years of graduate school in the not so distant future. 
     Ironically, I am not worried. Do I ever worry? Sure I do. In my head, I know worries and stress get me no where, just maybe grow a few gray hairs here and there, but I still worry and stress sometimes. But more then ever, I have seen the wisdom in living life one day at a time. Thinking about it all at once can just be the most overwhelming thing, its almost like a psychological trap. 
     The beautiful thing is that I am not alone, trying to figure out life. I have a loving family, loving friends, and a loving Savior. I continue to challenge myself to live simply. Live fully and live for others. I challenge you to do the same. Focus on the now and those around you. There is a difference between living and actually being alive. 

Quote of the Day 9/20/11

when in Rome

I'll be here in just 353 days... CANNOT WAIT :)

Quote of the Day 9/14/11

to be or not to be, to say or not to say

Consider the following quotes:
1. "Treat others as you would want to be treated."
2. "Eye for an eye, ear for an ear."


     Those two statements are contradictions. The first one tells us to treat people the way you would want to be treated while the second echos that sometimes it is okay to play fair. I have really been struggling and thinking about these ideas. We come across so many people and so many situations and it is inevitable that in our lives we will be hurt, and hurt more then a few times. The manner in which we respond to these situations can make all the difference. We can choose to avenge, confront, forgive or forget (or some combination of these). 

Quote of the Day 9/10/11

“Every conquering temptation represents a new fund of moral energy. Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before.”                                      [William Butler Yeats]

Quote of the Day 9/5/11

stumbled across this article this week...

The Friends with Benefits Epidemi

c

Lauren Lankford

Thursday, 21 July 2011

It's not just in the movies. How have we convinced ourselves to bend the rules of intimacy?

Friendships and sex have been around since the beginning of time, but it’s our generation that puts them into the same phrase—and the same bedroom. From high school hallways to movie theater screens, “friends with benefits” is sold to us as a new combination as simple, acceptable and wonderful as mac-and-cheese.

No one wakes up and decides sex is just sex, or making out is just making out. No one wakes up and announces over coffee, "Today, I'm going to fall head over heels in love with someone I'd never marry." I didn't.

I remember being a freshman in high school, believing heart and soul that I would wait for marriage to have sex. I'd never kissed a boy, and I didn't plan on it until I was engaged. Fast-forward four or five years, and I've made out for fun, for comfort, for love and for revenge. Fast-forward another two or three years, and I'm sleeping with someone I'm not even dating.

Why does it happen? Because we are broken people. And because God created sex and physical affection as a phenomenal part of what is meant to heal us: intimate, committed love with another human being. But when we don't know how our body and heart work, we tend to do long-term damage to ourselves instead of long-term good.

Bending the Rules

Your desire for sex is proof that God loves you. Your physical draw to another human being is proof that God created you to want to experience unparalleled intimacy in a way that reflects His desire for intimacy with us. God designed sex and the acts and attitudes preceding it to access aspects of your heart, soul, body and mind that could not be accessed any other way.

The problem is that we forget (or ignore) the passion-filled, healing, love-reflecting, life-giving purpose for intimacy. All we know are the rules. Maybe there are some rules you won’t violate; maybe you’ve committed to abstaining from sex outside of marriage. But there are still a number of other “benefits” you may convince yourself it’s OK to relinquish. When we don't recognize the purpose for something, the rules sometimes aren't enough.

"Your first perfect boyfriend broke your heart. You weren't supposed to take your physical relationship that far, but you did; now you might as well take it that far again. You deserve to have some innocent fun. Cuddling as 'friends' isn't wrong; it won't go anywhere. You didn’t go all the way. Everyone has sex before marriage, and everyone ends up married and happy in the end. You need to experience everything before you settle down."

This is what I took myself through. This is how I convinced myself it was fine to "just have fun," and how I got addicted to men I could neither commit to nor leave. There are a number of other reasons that people will justify casual intimacy, physical or otherwise; none of them are an excuse.

Our bodies are created to start bonding within 20 seconds. Your body can’t tell the difference between cuddling with your boyfriend and cuddling with a friend while watching a movie. Your heart can’t tell the difference between sharing intimate secrets with the sexy new friend or your spouse. Trust, attachment and intimacy build with or without our permission. This is why it’s so incredibly important to set physical and emotional boundaries before we get into something it hurts to get out of.

Create your own specific rules to help yourself keep the big rules: Do you get lonely at night? Safeguard your heart by having a plan that keeps you from opening up emotionally or physically when you’re “at risk.” Give people permission to ask you the personal questions and keep you accountable to yourself. Sit down with yourself and write out what’s OK for you (not what's OK or acceptable to your peers). Don’t dwell on your mistakes, but use what you learn from them in the future. And don’t be afraid to communicate what’s permissible and what’s not with any potential love interest—real friends protect you, not compromise your standards.

The Ties that Bind

Your entire life is the story of God's plan to show you His definition of crazy, unconditional love. Those who marry will find marriage is one of God's primary tools for this. God knew it was not good for man to be alone. God knew we needed a physical way to experience the heartbeat of Himself. So He gave us each other—another human being to commit to and love no matter what. An image of God's passion for His children, an expression of Jesus' love for His bride.

Sex is some of the greatest glue for marriage—and the enemy has every intention of attacking your marriage before it even starts. If he can twist, harm or destroy your marriage, he knows he does the same for your picture of God's unconditional love and commitment to you. Furthermore, friends with benefits also deteriorates the value of your other relationships. Single or married, God intends for you to have trustworthy, iron-sharpens-iron friendships untainted by cheap affection or half-hearted romance.

Not only is sex the perfect image of intimacy, passion and desire, it triggers the release of chemicals that train your body to remember what feels good, and how to get it again. Dopamine is a natural drug that gets you high. This is what keeps you going back again. Drugs like methamphetamine access dopamine to achieve the same effect. Your body begins such a bond just with cuddling, kissing, and everything between there and “real” sex. Oxytocin is dopamine’s partner, the emotional binding agent that teaches you to trust and reduces fear.

However, dopamine and oxytocin don’t play fair. They don’t care if it’s just for fun, if it’s "just this one night" or if the person you’re going home with is going to be around next week. They don’t care if it’s make-up sex, breakup sex or all-the-way sex. They don’t care if you just “mess around,” or if you go all the way. They’re going to feed your addiction, commitment or not.

Love Is Sacrificial, not Selfish

Consider the repercussions of programming your body to trust someone you shouldn’t—to be vulnerable with someone you know will cause pain in the withdrawal phase.

You were created for hot, passionate sex. You were created to be connected to one person, without ever going through withdrawal. You were created for whole, healthy friendships—unscarred by broken or inappropriate intimacy.

But more than that, you were created to experience unconditional, committed love. When we compromise emotional and physical intimacy before commitment (whether or not we intend to), we sabotage ourselves. And it hurts. Badly. Either now, later or both.

The myth of friends with benefits programs us to believe intimacy doesn’t last, love is selfish, desire exists for you and only matters in the right now. But God’s definition of love is always sacrificial—and will always be around.

---

Lauren Lankford is founder and editor of Good Women Project. She also writes on sex, relationships, dealing with pain and following Jesus on her personal blog. You can follow her on Twitter here.

Quote of the Day 9/3/11

"Never take someone for granted. Hold every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you’ve lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones. "           [Author Unknown]

0 to 60 in 3.5

photo courtesy of Clint Padilla Photography

     I have a secret passion... for driving fast. I don't know how to explain it, just driving can be the most relaxing activities ever. I have this need for speed. I am not really sure where it can from or how it started, but I think that driving is a talent and a form of art. I have so much admiration for talented, swift drivers. Now I have been in cars with people who can get you from point A to point B in seconds, but at the same time, you hold on to dear life and probably grow a few gray hairs in those moments. 
     Driving is about more then speed. You don't want to feel like you may just die if an animal decides to cross the road or the driver in front of you accidentally hits the brakes. There are people who are truly talented drivers. They know when to slow down, and when to speed up; when to pass a car, when to wait and etc. It is a talent. You need to know not only your car's capabilities, but also those of the car's around you. You don't want to be cutting off every car, pissing off just about every driver and getting lovely letters from the police department. 
     One of my goals for this year is to go down to a racetrack and really just polish up my driving skills. I have covered many miles over the past few years but there is still so much I want to learn. Fortunately, I got a new car this year which is practically my child (for now), so I am slowly but surely upgrading.


Heres a few of my personal best times:


-State street exit to shefield exit: 7 minutes
-Goleta to Thousand Oaks: 35 minutes
-Rancho Santa Margarita to La Jolla: 25 minutes
-Point Loma to Rancho Santa Margarita: 47 minutes
-State Street exit to Paseo Nuevo: 4 minutes
-Orange County to Santa Barbara: 1 hour, 50 minutes (with traffic on the 5 North)


.... I am so putting a cop radar on my christmas wish list :)


ps. if any of you have the time to teach stick shift or have tips or know of places to go for experience, I would love any additional feedback.

Quote of the Day 9/2/11

"The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of."               [Pascal]

Quote of the Day 8/30/11

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.  
[Albert Einstein]

Quote of the Day 8/29/11

It's words like these that touch the heart the most. Truly touched and beyond flattered. thank you so much. 

"i really liked your blog...it was REAL...keep it up. personally, it gave me piece of mind. I know it was about your summer and what you experienced this summer, but i related to it. Right when i saw it, looked like an essay. but i was glued to it. great material, especially the friendships. thats good to hear, im a dj, i meet alot of people especially on the weekends, most are fake. And when i read your blog. I was like "yes!" someone who goes through the trials and tribulations like myself. i know we all do, but youre the 1st to put out your emotions"

editors note: the motivation behind starting a blog was to be able to reach out to people. my whole life i have been shy, introverted and mastered the art of keeping my feelings to myself. while i still think people do not need to know everything about you, there are times that we need to be honest and open. no matter what you are feeling and may think you are the only one, there is always at least one person out there, experiencing the same things as you. by being genuine and open, we may be able to help not only ourselves, but the people around us... and that right there should be the main purpose of our lives: to reach out and better the lives of others. 

Top Ten Gentlemanly Gestures Women Notice

Thank you stumbleupon for finding such interesting articles. This one definitely speaks the truth. Enjoy!


                                                     Top Ten Gentlemanly Gestures Women Notice

It’s a pity how Gentlemen are becoming a thing of the past. Most men shy away from chivalrous gestures for the fear of being branded as misogynists! Role models to show us how to behave like true gentlemen is becoming an increasingly rare phenomenon.

Today we will attempt to address this issue by showing you the 10 of the most important Gentlemanly gestures that can change the way how a date goes.
These ways are old world, sometimes subtle, non aggressive, but always significant ways of showing a woman that you are attentive, respectful and well mannered!

Walk outside on the Sidewalk

Men who like to take long walks and engage in stimulating conversations have always been associated in women’s mind as old world and charming.
Intelligent women will understand the chivalry in this unrushed, attentive and engaging gesture. While sewage is less of an issue today, but it’s a good idea to keep your woman away from puddles and traffic.

Let her sit down fist

Let’s face it. Forget chivalry, its basic good manners, something most new age men are forgetting. Go in a recall and the next time you’re on a date with a woman you really like, try this out.

There is so much natural dignity and simplicity in this act of ‘putting her first’ in the smallest of ways – a woman notices and then remembers!

Watch you language

Most women… heck… ALL WOMEN love Mr. Darcy! Sometimes I wonder if Mr. Darcy were real would he be the sex symbol that rocked the world of women or what?
The point we’re trying to make here is: be articulate, be smooth, but please don’t be mouthy! We don’t know about trucker ladies, but most women hate men mouthing off expletives at the drop of the hat!

Carry the umbrella

If it’s raining or too sunny… or if there is one to carry at all – make sure you do it.
Women love the feel of being treated as precious. Holding an umbrella over her head while she walks or crosses the road, just makes her look at you differently. The kind of different you’d wish for!

Walk her home

No rocket science. And let’s confess most men do it even if subconsciously.
Walking your date home is the most important ‘to-do’ in your gentleman manual. It make take you out of your way a whole lot, but it sends her a message saying that making sure she’s safe and out of harm’s way is your top priority!

 Offer your jacket

Women have always adored men who’re willing to brave stuff for them… even if it’s just a gust of cold wind.
In the absence of dragons to slay, start with braving the wind for her. The way she’ll smile back at you will tell you she feels no less than a princess herself.

Offer your seat

Don’t be a boor. When in a place where there’s room for just one, offer her your seat.
Women notice. Especially men who offer their seats on public transportation to other women, old people, pregnant ladies… etc. These are the sort of men who make women want to walk up to them an introduce themselves.

At the table, shut the phone off

… Or at least put it on silent! Sure, women love your hi-flying, globetrotting corporate magnetic appeal but only so long as she doesn’t realize that you’re incapable of giving her five minutes worth of undisturbed attention.

Switch that phone off. Honest advice.

Introduce Her

Much like taking a call when with her, if you fail to introduce her to someone you run into she is left feeling isolated and abandoned. A gentleman always makes sure his date feels comfortable and an important part of this is to have the social awareness to always introduce her to your friends or acquaintances.

Hold the door

Much like holding the chair for her – according to surveys, 90% of the women consider this as the number one gentlemanly gesture. It’s a small, subconscious gesture but it makes a woman feel respected. So hold that door!

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