Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.
[Albert Einstein]
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Quote of the Day 8/29/11
It's words like these that touch the heart the most. Truly touched and beyond flattered. thank you so much.
editors note: the motivation behind starting a blog was to be able to reach out to people. my whole life i have been shy, introverted and mastered the art of keeping my feelings to myself. while i still think people do not need to know everything about you, there are times that we need to be honest and open. no matter what you are feeling and may think you are the only one, there is always at least one person out there, experiencing the same things as you. by being genuine and open, we may be able to help not only ourselves, but the people around us... and that right there should be the main purpose of our lives: to reach out and better the lives of others.
"i really liked your blog...it was REAL...keep it up. personally, it gave me piece of mind. I know it was about your summer and what you experienced this summer, but i related to it. Right when i saw it, looked like an essay. but i was glued to it. great material, especially the friendships. thats good to hear, im a dj, i meet alot of people especially on the weekends, most are fake. And when i read your blog. I was like "yes!" someone who goes through the trials and tribulations like myself. i know we all do, but youre the 1st to put out your emotions"
editors note: the motivation behind starting a blog was to be able to reach out to people. my whole life i have been shy, introverted and mastered the art of keeping my feelings to myself. while i still think people do not need to know everything about you, there are times that we need to be honest and open. no matter what you are feeling and may think you are the only one, there is always at least one person out there, experiencing the same things as you. by being genuine and open, we may be able to help not only ourselves, but the people around us... and that right there should be the main purpose of our lives: to reach out and better the lives of others.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Top Ten Gentlemanly Gestures Women Notice
Thank you stumbleupon for finding such interesting articles. This one definitely speaks the truth. Enjoy!
Top Ten Gentlemanly Gestures Women Notice
Top Ten Gentlemanly Gestures Women Notice
It’s a pity how Gentlemen are becoming a thing of the past. Most men shy away from chivalrous gestures for the fear of being branded as misogynists! Role models to show us how to behave like true gentlemen is becoming an increasingly rare phenomenon.
Today we will attempt to address this issue by showing you the 10 of the most important Gentlemanly gestures that can change the way how a date goes.
These ways are old world, sometimes subtle, non aggressive, but always significant ways of showing a woman that you are attentive, respectful and well mannered!
These ways are old world, sometimes subtle, non aggressive, but always significant ways of showing a woman that you are attentive, respectful and well mannered!
Walk outside on the Sidewalk
Men who like to take long walks and engage in stimulating conversations have always been associated in women’s mind as old world and charming.
Intelligent women will understand the chivalry in this unrushed, attentive and engaging gesture. While sewage is less of an issue today, but it’s a good idea to keep your woman away from puddles and traffic.
Intelligent women will understand the chivalry in this unrushed, attentive and engaging gesture. While sewage is less of an issue today, but it’s a good idea to keep your woman away from puddles and traffic.
Let her sit down fist
Let’s face it. Forget chivalry, its basic good manners, something most new age men are forgetting. Go in a recall and the next time you’re on a date with a woman you really like, try this out.
There is so much natural dignity and simplicity in this act of ‘putting her first’ in the smallest of ways – a woman notices and then remembers!
Watch you language
Most women… heck… ALL WOMEN love Mr. Darcy! Sometimes I wonder if Mr. Darcy were real would he be the sex symbol that rocked the world of women or what?
The point we’re trying to make here is: be articulate, be smooth, but please don’t be mouthy! We don’t know about trucker ladies, but most women hate men mouthing off expletives at the drop of the hat!
The point we’re trying to make here is: be articulate, be smooth, but please don’t be mouthy! We don’t know about trucker ladies, but most women hate men mouthing off expletives at the drop of the hat!
Carry the umbrella
If it’s raining or too sunny… or if there is one to carry at all – make sure you do it.
Women love the feel of being treated as precious. Holding an umbrella over her head while she walks or crosses the road, just makes her look at you differently. The kind of different you’d wish for!
Women love the feel of being treated as precious. Holding an umbrella over her head while she walks or crosses the road, just makes her look at you differently. The kind of different you’d wish for!
Walk her home
No rocket science. And let’s confess most men do it even if subconsciously.
Walking your date home is the most important ‘to-do’ in your gentleman manual. It make take you out of your way a whole lot, but it sends her a message saying that making sure she’s safe and out of harm’s way is your top priority!
Walking your date home is the most important ‘to-do’ in your gentleman manual. It make take you out of your way a whole lot, but it sends her a message saying that making sure she’s safe and out of harm’s way is your top priority!
Offer your jacket
Women have always adored men who’re willing to brave stuff for them… even if it’s just a gust of cold wind.
In the absence of dragons to slay, start with braving the wind for her. The way she’ll smile back at you will tell you she feels no less than a princess herself.
In the absence of dragons to slay, start with braving the wind for her. The way she’ll smile back at you will tell you she feels no less than a princess herself.
Offer your seat
Don’t be a boor. When in a place where there’s room for just one, offer her your seat.
Women notice. Especially men who offer their seats on public transportation to other women, old people, pregnant ladies… etc. These are the sort of men who make women want to walk up to them an introduce themselves.
Women notice. Especially men who offer their seats on public transportation to other women, old people, pregnant ladies… etc. These are the sort of men who make women want to walk up to them an introduce themselves.
At the table, shut the phone off
… Or at least put it on silent! Sure, women love your hi-flying, globetrotting corporate magnetic appeal but only so long as she doesn’t realize that you’re incapable of giving her five minutes worth of undisturbed attention.
Switch that phone off. Honest advice.
Introduce Her
Much like taking a call when with her, if you fail to introduce her to someone you run into she is left feeling isolated and abandoned. A gentleman always makes sure his date feels comfortable and an important part of this is to have the social awareness to always introduce her to your friends or acquaintances.
Hold the door
Much like holding the chair for her – according to surveys, 90% of the women consider this as the number one gentlemanly gesture. It’s a small, subconscious gesture but it makes a woman feel respected. So hold that door!
[Taken from "http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1W2m50/blog.supersavepharmacy.com/%3Fp%3D180"]
reflecting on Summer '11
It's hard to believe that summer is just about over. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was packing up my room at Loma, wondering exactly what summer '11 was going to bring. Three months came and went. What started as one of the hardest summers turned into one pretty incredible summer. It wasn't that I really went anywhere, I found what I needed and so much more right at my doorstep.
My summer revolved around home #2 (Nordstrom) and home #3 (Spectrum Athletic Club) but somewhere in between things just clicked. First off I got to work with some pretty amazing girls, some I knew and some I didn't coming back, but I am so happy I got to know these people. They are some pretty special people with the best of advice, knowledge and stories. It was more then work, it was a bond. As a girl, you find it hard to talk to other girls because of a lack of trust, but somehow it almost felt like a little family. It made the "slow" days fly by and if frustrated/confused/contemplative/etc/etc there was always someone willing to listen and willing to understand. Thank you to these very special women who each have an overabundance of potential. (and ps. shout out to spectrum, I logged over 160 hours at the gym this summer, a personal best.)
Little things here and there have added up to some major realizations and life lessons. One of things I really learned is just how honest the quote "its always easier said than done." No matter how much we say we are going to do something, its many times a whole lot harder. Especially the idea that the most important words are the hardest to say. Sometimes these words are needed so much, and they can be right there, on the tip of your tongue and not come out.
I have found connections with people that I never thought I would. New people, old acquaintances, faded friendships came my way and some pretty amazing relationships formed. The hard part of ending summer is the question of where these connections will go. Will they continue or will they fade? Where do we place each other in our lives? Do you ask that? or do you keep living, knowing whats meant to be finds a way? We all have these questions, but seriously, try being a girl, these types of questions are engraved in our minds and there's no way to get around them.
I have learned the importance of letting people in. I am still learning to accept that not everyone will care about you as much as you care about them, but nevertheless to keep caring. I have learned that when I love, I love big and am also learning the flip side. You can love someone to the point where you would do anything for them, but the receiver may not return the favor. Yes, it hurts unbelievably when you care about someone beyond words yet aren't certain the feeling is mutual.
Throughout everything, I cannot help but see the importance of living each day, one day at a time. Yes, the past should ever be forgotten, it breaks you and makes you and matures you and yes the future should be prepared for, but being anxious changes nothing.
I have less then 48 hours before I leave Santa Barbara. I will miss the routine, the places, and most certainly the people. I don't want to let go but have to accept some people will let me go. That is just life, change is inevitable. But one of my closet friends has repeated the same line over and over to me again all summer. Here's his words of wisdom: "No matter what, in the end, things always fall into place." As summer finishes and I transition to a new season, I am so excited and scared at the same time. I cannot wait to meet new people and share new experiences, but I am also scared for those I am leaving behind, but at the end of the day, it is what it is, there's always a reason for why people from your past don't make it into your future. The ones that matter do and the ones that don't... don't make the transition into fall.
Thank you to everyone who contributed to my summer. I love you all and value your wisdoms and words.
My summer revolved around home #2 (Nordstrom) and home #3 (Spectrum Athletic Club) but somewhere in between things just clicked. First off I got to work with some pretty amazing girls, some I knew and some I didn't coming back, but I am so happy I got to know these people. They are some pretty special people with the best of advice, knowledge and stories. It was more then work, it was a bond. As a girl, you find it hard to talk to other girls because of a lack of trust, but somehow it almost felt like a little family. It made the "slow" days fly by and if frustrated/confused/contemplative/etc/etc there was always someone willing to listen and willing to understand. Thank you to these very special women who each have an overabundance of potential. (and ps. shout out to spectrum, I logged over 160 hours at the gym this summer, a personal best.)
Little things here and there have added up to some major realizations and life lessons. One of things I really learned is just how honest the quote "its always easier said than done." No matter how much we say we are going to do something, its many times a whole lot harder. Especially the idea that the most important words are the hardest to say. Sometimes these words are needed so much, and they can be right there, on the tip of your tongue and not come out.
I have found connections with people that I never thought I would. New people, old acquaintances, faded friendships came my way and some pretty amazing relationships formed. The hard part of ending summer is the question of where these connections will go. Will they continue or will they fade? Where do we place each other in our lives? Do you ask that? or do you keep living, knowing whats meant to be finds a way? We all have these questions, but seriously, try being a girl, these types of questions are engraved in our minds and there's no way to get around them.
I have learned the importance of letting people in. I am still learning to accept that not everyone will care about you as much as you care about them, but nevertheless to keep caring. I have learned that when I love, I love big and am also learning the flip side. You can love someone to the point where you would do anything for them, but the receiver may not return the favor. Yes, it hurts unbelievably when you care about someone beyond words yet aren't certain the feeling is mutual.
Throughout everything, I cannot help but see the importance of living each day, one day at a time. Yes, the past should ever be forgotten, it breaks you and makes you and matures you and yes the future should be prepared for, but being anxious changes nothing.
I have less then 48 hours before I leave Santa Barbara. I will miss the routine, the places, and most certainly the people. I don't want to let go but have to accept some people will let me go. That is just life, change is inevitable. But one of my closet friends has repeated the same line over and over to me again all summer. Here's his words of wisdom: "No matter what, in the end, things always fall into place." As summer finishes and I transition to a new season, I am so excited and scared at the same time. I cannot wait to meet new people and share new experiences, but I am also scared for those I am leaving behind, but at the end of the day, it is what it is, there's always a reason for why people from your past don't make it into your future. The ones that matter do and the ones that don't... don't make the transition into fall.
Thank you to everyone who contributed to my summer. I love you all and value your wisdoms and words.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Quote of the Day 8/24/11
"I've learnt that...
- you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
- no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
- it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
- it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
- you can do something in an instant that will give you a heartache for life.
- no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
- you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
- we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
- there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
- true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
- just because someone doesnt love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
- maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
- no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
- no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
- just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
- we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
- you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
- there are many ways of falling and staying in love.
- no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.
- the people you care most about in life are taken from you to soon.
- although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.
- love is not for me to keep, but to pass on to the next person I see.
- there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
- even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
- every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
- I still have a lot to learn...... "
Friday, August 19, 2011
stumbling upon differences..
I have a new obsessions... with stumbleupon. Since discovering the website, I have read some pretty interesting articles. Psychology is one of my "interests" and thus the site has provided me with some great article about how differently men and women see things or interpret things. Heres a few things I found interesting. Women, Do you agree or disagree?
The Article "How to Speak Woman" :
The Article "How to Speak Woman" :
Research suggests that women use body language up to six times more than men. But it doesn’t take Sherlock to deduct that men are a little behind the curve in deciphering it. With a quick tutorial on "woman speak" plus a little body language knowledge, you could begin improving communication with your wife or girlfriend. Try these tips:
The Red Lights
Nothing’s really been resolved if you hear these words:
It’s fine. No. It’s not fine. It’s not fine at all. And usually when she says this, her body will not be facing you directly. Whether it’s her gaze, her shoulders, her hips or all of the above, she’s letting you know that the conversation isn’t over. And take note if she says this while taking out the garbage, painting the dining room, or changing a dirty diaper. She asked for some help with the task at hand, and you kind of didn’t step up.
Whatever. Oh man. Whatever you said or did, she didn’t like it. Are you sitting down at dinner? Maybe in a car? Look for her body to be moved as far back away from you as possible. Her torso could be shifted, her feet may be tucked under the chair, or she might be sighing really loudly. Give her some space. She’s mulling it over.
What I want is… As a broad, general rule, women disguise direct wants and needs with words like "I would like" or "I’m thinking of doing." So when you hear this clear, cut, concise language — kind of like the way you would talk — she’s telling you how to fix the problem. If she ends her explanation with a question, she would like for the conversation to continue, ideally with your point of view.
The Green Lights
On the flip side, women have ways of verbally letting you know that things are going great. While these hints aren’t foolproof, they’re decent enough gauges to be aware of. Things to look for:
What are you thinking? She’s opening the door for connection, and she may have something to talk about. There are two roads to take here: If you say, "nothing," be ready. Even if your head is honest-to-God filled with nothing but flat lines, women won’t believe you. There’s never nothing going through their heads, so if they hear "nothing," they may think you’re hiding something. If you answer with whatever it is you’re really thinking about, look for a touch on your arm or hand. This move is helping her break down barriers with some quick and simple skin-on-skin contact.
Anything in a whisper. The lean and whisper is a move used by women everywhere — girlfriends, potential girlfriends, wives — usually with a high success rate. Talking quieter implies intimacy, a secret connection, and what she’s trying to say is that she’s feeling it.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Quote of the Day 8/14/11
"Most relationships tend to fail not because the absence of love, love is always present. It's just that one was being loved too much & the other was being loved too little as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. Maybe that's the reason why the heart is not always right. Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just for past times, while the one who truly loves us remains either a friend or a stranger. Here's a piece of advice: Let go when you're hurting to much. Give up when love isn't enough, & move on when things are not like before. There is someone out there who will love you even more, surely then, you will know true love." [Author Unknown]
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Beyonce's Ave Maria
I love Beyonce and I love the song "Ave Maria." When I heard this song, it blew me away. Beyonce is just an incredible artist and only could she plus this off. Love love love.
Can I ask you a question?
Whenever we meet new people, it is usually pretty awkward. I think partially because we always use the "where are you from/ what do you like to do for fun/ do you have any pets?" questions. If we are honest with ourselves, we hate answering those questions and we hate asking them but we do it because we want to find something to connect with. A few months ago someone asked me a question that took some effort to answer. A question that made me pause and think for a while. That question was: "what are your personal philosophies?"
What that person was trying to ask me was essential why are you the way you are, like what guides you, whats makes you, you. Its honestly something I haven't thought much about and probably most of us haven't. Like how do we make the choices we make, befriend the people we befriend or deal with conflict. Like do we have a certain way that we always approach each situation or it varies?
Today, someone told me that one of their "philosophies" is to "Love big." They said that they believe in letting everyone in and giving out as much love as they can. In their opinion, when you love big, people open up to you and find comfort in you. They want to be the most comforting, nurturing person they can be.
Someone else told me they frankly look at things very black and white. They believe that there is a standard that people need to be help up to and accountable to. I also heard from someone that they just don't befriend people of the same gender and that makes their lives a lot easier (fair enough).
I have been thinking about blogging about this topic for months and ironically someone asked me, last night, this same question. One philosophy or idea I always keep in mind when it comes to other people is that I want every person I talk to, to feel special and important. Everyone deserves to feel special. It is sad to me that people give attention many times only to people they like or are interested in. I believe, from the bottom of my heart, that people should always feel special, that they are the center of your attention. This idea alone guides many of my thoughts and actions. Everyone has a story to tell and can provide some really good insight, even when you least expect it.
I am still figuring out exactly what "philosophies" guide my actions, thus this post is still under construction. I appreciate all the feedback and there is more to come :)
What that person was trying to ask me was essential why are you the way you are, like what guides you, whats makes you, you. Its honestly something I haven't thought much about and probably most of us haven't. Like how do we make the choices we make, befriend the people we befriend or deal with conflict. Like do we have a certain way that we always approach each situation or it varies?
Today, someone told me that one of their "philosophies" is to "Love big." They said that they believe in letting everyone in and giving out as much love as they can. In their opinion, when you love big, people open up to you and find comfort in you. They want to be the most comforting, nurturing person they can be.
Someone else told me they frankly look at things very black and white. They believe that there is a standard that people need to be help up to and accountable to. I also heard from someone that they just don't befriend people of the same gender and that makes their lives a lot easier (fair enough).
I have been thinking about blogging about this topic for months and ironically someone asked me, last night, this same question. One philosophy or idea I always keep in mind when it comes to other people is that I want every person I talk to, to feel special and important. Everyone deserves to feel special. It is sad to me that people give attention many times only to people they like or are interested in. I believe, from the bottom of my heart, that people should always feel special, that they are the center of your attention. This idea alone guides many of my thoughts and actions. Everyone has a story to tell and can provide some really good insight, even when you least expect it.
I am still figuring out exactly what "philosophies" guide my actions, thus this post is still under construction. I appreciate all the feedback and there is more to come :)
Who is Lydia Kravchuk?: an autobiography
For my psychology class earlier this year, we had to write a 10 page personal autobiography. I won't bore y'all with all of it, but here is just a little glimpse into my life, keep reading if you're interested...
Part of growing up consists of figuring out who you are: your likes and dislikes, interests, beliefs, morals, personal philosophies and all that other fun stuff. There are have been so many experiences and life lessons that have made me the person I am today. I believe that you are more of every experience and would be less of a person had that experience not happened to you.
I was born on August 12, 1991 in beautiful Riga, Latvia to Peter and Lidia Kravchuk. Prior to 1991, Latvia was a part of the Soviet Union. My mom was born in current day Brest, Belarus and my dad was born in current day Rivne, Ukraine. My parent’s parents had been friends before my parents were even born. They knew each other because they were a part of a group of “underground” churches. Being a Christian was not permitted in the Soviet Union. The government wanted their constituents to join the Communist Party. It you were not an atheist and a member of the communist party, then you were considered an enemy to the country. As a result my grandfather from my mom’s side was jailed 3 times for 3 years each because he continued to serve as a pastor. Both of my grandparents were constantly threatened for their belief in God. Police would raid their homes for bibles and other Christian literature. The KGB threatened to take their kids away, stating that because they believed in God, they were not suited to be parents. When my mom and dad entered school, they were constantly bullied and harassed not only by the students but also by the school administration. Their grades were lowered by their teachers because of their beliefs. Their principles would hold assemblies and called them out before their peers and call them the enemies of the USSR. Despite the constant bashing and humiliation, my parents never gave up on their beliefs. My parents continued to face even more obstacles when they tried to go to college. Eventually, both of their families moved to Latvia because persecution was not as prominent there and both were able to receive higher education.
When I was 6 years old, my family was granted Visa’s on the basis of having had suffered previous religious persecution. My mom’s and dad’s whole family left Latvia; there was no point in living in a country that was just beginning to develop. My parents wanted me to have a future. We lived in Orange County, California for a few months while my parents looked for a job. My dad received a call to be a Worship Pastor in a small Slavic church in Wheaton, Illinois. We lived for a year in Illinois. My parents did not know anyone and spoke little English. My dad served at the church, while my mom cleaned houses day and night. In 1998, we moved to Roswell, Georgia. My dad was called to be the worship pastor of a larger Slavic church in Atlanta. I started Kindergarten, and learning the English language, while my parents began to re-establish themselves in a new place. In 1999, my parents were able to purchase their first home, and along with the home came my 1st and only sister Elizabeth.
I loved living in Georgia and thus Georgia will always be on my mind. My dad eventually started his own church where we worked with many non-Christian Slavic people in Georgia. I spent most of the time at the church. It was a small, country-esqe white church surrounded with huge oak trees and a white picket fence. A small American congregation of about 100 people met there in the mornings. In the afternoon, met our small new church. Later came a Brazilian congregation, which met after us, and a Mexican congregation, which met after the Brazilians. Together we all completed each other and together we became one big family. All my close friends were from church. I was there almost every day, helping my dad. It was home.
As a look back, I realize that I did not have the typical elementary/middle school experience. I was not a part of Girl Scouts or a member of a soccer team. My parents were not members of the PTA and I never got to be a ballerina and perform in the Nutcracker. My life was my church. My parents had always expressed the importance of the role of God in our lives, so it was only natural that church became my second home. I may not have had a “school life” but I had an amazing church life. Do I wish that I could have been in Girl Scouts or on the soccer team or a ballerina? Perhaps, but that is only because I have seen and heard others’ experiences. In the moment, I was living a blissful childhood life.
Middle school was a transition. Not only are you physically changing but also you are mentally changing. You realize more of societies expectations. I pushed myself to receive straights A’s, maybe one or two B’s occurred, but I strived for excellence. I was the second violin in my school orchestra. I guess it was only natural because I had come from such a musical family. My dad holds masters in music and opera and he pushed me to play the violin and piano and to sing. Music was, is and will always be a part of my life. My dad always stressed the importance of “real” music, not the “junk” playing on the radio. As a result, I can say that I did not start listening to Rap or R&B music till about the end of 8th grade. Instead I enjoyed classical music concerts and operas and falling asleep while listening to Beethoven, Bach and Vivaldi.
Perhaps because I was growing up in a different culture, I struggled with moments of insecurity. I was confident in myself yet peers unknowingly began to break down that confidence. Because I was so actively involved at my church, I did not invest in my school friendships. I could not relate to the kids I went to school with. I couldn’t name the song playing on the top 40 radio station or talk about the shows on TV (my family saw no need for cable TV!) or sell Girl Scout cookies with the girls in my class. Although I was close with my family, I had not yet realized what it meant to be close: to share feelings, emotions and desires. I bottled up my feelings. I continued to still be actively involved in my church, from Christmas pageants to bake sales to Harvest Festivals, I was there. That was what life was about.
At the end of 7th grade, I felt like I finally had it down. I had a life at church AND at school; I could finally fit in two both places. Everything was great, until my world came crashing down. My parents said that they had been actively praying and felt that God was calling them to move to Santa Barbara, California to be closer with my mom’s family. I cried the next 4 months, every night, praying our house would not sell. Contrary to my prayers, the house sold quickly and I moved from one coast to another: an experience that changed my life in a way I never thought possible.
It took me about 3 years to fit into California. It is such a different world compared to the South. The biggest change was the shift of morals, values and beliefs. People in California stressed independence over community and personal values over biblical values. Yet, something powerful happened. It did not discourage me, but rather empower me. God used this contrast to strengthen and grow me as an individual. I did not feel afraid or embarrassed to tell the people at school that they had it all wrong. I was not afraid to be politically correct. I began to write for my school newspaper and I liked pushing people’s buttons. I covered the hot topic issues, abortion, gay marriage, global warming and whatever else was “hot” at the moment. I put election bumper stickers on my car, which were peeled off quite often, but I did not care. I knew what I stood for and I knew what I believed.
In January of 2007, my life took a few steps backwards. My whole life I had been a healthy child. I rarely got sick, spent all my time outdoors playing and ate a relatively healthy diet. Little did I know that my body was not in the great shape I thought it was in. The next few months were a rough transition. I rapidly lost weight and then would gain back twice as much. I would feel happy one day and moody the next. I did not know what to eat and had to get adjusted to new diets, medications and routines. My family prayed day and night for healing, knowing that if we ask, God will answer our prayers.
Four years later, I am still battling my diagnosis. Although battling may not be the correct word, I have since “befriended” my condition. I believe that God has a plan for everything that he does. I may never find out why I was diagnosed with a disease that will shorten my life, but I do know that he has a specific plan. I know that this illness is a never-ending journey till the day I die. Some days I feel better and some days I feel irritated, sluggish and with no desire to get out of bed. Only through the prayers of family and the almighty hand of God do I have the will power to get up every day. As terrible as things may seem, it has taught me many very valuable lessons and strengthened our family bond.
Almost harder then dealing with the illness was figuring out what exactly I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Senor year came and left very quickly, leaving only the panic of “who do I want to be when I grow up?” Except “grow up” had become “now,” as many colleges wanted a declaration right away and I wanted a peace of mind as soon as possible. I felt pressure, a lot of pressure. People kept telling me I had time, but I felt like I needed to know sooner then later and at times I was confused and a bit irritated on why God wasn't giving me an answer. I mean here I was, trying to follow His will, but nothing was happening. Finally, one day, after all the stress, tears and prayers, it all clicked and somehow the answer had been there all along. I proudly declared Political Sciences on my college applications.
Politics to me is so exciting and yet frustrating: complex and yet so simple. It brings me to life. People go crazy over the Super bowl; I go crazy over election broadcasting. So many emotions and the suspense of what will happen and the "what ifs" and the "should've, could've, would've." Everything comes out, majestical gains and devastating losses. As my education continues, I grow more and more excited every day. I cannot wait to see what will happen in our government and our world, the good and the bad, the ugly and the pretty. Every day, a mystery unfolds and at the same time starts again. I have only taken a few classes regarding my major at Point Loma, but they have only affirmed that I have picked the right major for me.
Over the past few months at Point Loma, I have realized that I am at the right place at the right time. God has truly put me where I need to be. I may have been extremely homesick the first month but that has come and gone. I have made the most amazing of friends and some pretty unforgettable memories. I never thought in a million years that I would be living in California, let alone attending a beautiful Christian University nestled alongside the Pacific Ocean.
Our lives are quite ironic and seem to only prove that God has a sense of humor. He stops us on the path we thought was the way and puts us on a completely different one. The path may seem dark and dreary but if we keep trusting then the sun eventually comes out to light our path. It still makes me smile and even laugh when I look back at my 14-year-old self, begging God to not let someone buy our house. I thought I knew was my life was going to look like but I was clearly mistaken. I cannot thank God enough for NOT granting my adolescent prayer. He knew what was better for me and what I ultimately needed. That dreaded move made me the person I am today. I am more confident in who I am. Not only that, but it has brought my family closer together. In Georgia, our life was the church, but in California we actually got to be a family, to get to know each other. It may have opened up our eyes to the problems we did not have time to realize before, but it is through those problems that we grow, learn and love each other even more.
As I look into the future, I am no longer tempted to make a 5-year plan. I have seen that God throws curveballs into our lives and we have no choice but to play along. When we surrender ourselves to God is when we truly find ourselves. In May of last year I was able to get baptized alongside my best friend, whom, through the grace of Christ, I was able to bring her to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Every day I am growing and maturing and sometimes failing and stumbling, yet there is always a light on the other side of the tunnel. I do not know if I will wake up tomorrow but I do know that Jesus loves me. He loves me through all my sins and faults and failures and disappoints. I owe a great thank you to my amazing family, friends and leaders who pushed me in the right direction and for their never-ending prayers. I would not be the person I am today without them. I am eternally grateful for everything they have ever done for me. I owe my greatest gratitude to my heavenly father, for answering my prayers and guiding me on this crazy journey called life.
Quote of the Day 8/10/11
to my friend who said this to me in our 1 am conversation, thank you so much, it truly touched my heart:
"How are you so genuinely nice. Like not so much react to what people think but be yourself. how can you be so beautiful and not be flashy. And lastly how are you always nice. Like always outgoing....Well I just really respect someone who makes the time for people and to hear what they had to say. Takes the time to see the good and really genuinely care. Its very nice and just wanted to say I noticed."
ps. you also said that i "must have some incredible parents." and its true, i credit all above mentioned things to them :)
"How are you so genuinely nice. Like not so much react to what people think but be yourself. how can you be so beautiful and not be flashy. And lastly how are you always nice. Like always outgoing....Well I just really respect someone who makes the time for people and to hear what they had to say. Takes the time to see the good and really genuinely care. Its very nice and just wanted to say I noticed."
ps. you also said that i "must have some incredible parents." and its true, i credit all above mentioned things to them :)
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
till society do us part
I went to LA this weekend and between my amazing trip and other things that have been going on the past few weeks, I have had various thoughts roaming around in my head. Before I start, I am going to recall a few things experienced and/or heard...
- Helped a man at work, who was on a first date with a girl. After spending a ridiculous amount of money on "pre-date" gifts and 200 hundred dollar jeans later, he assumed he was "in" with a girl and attempted to kiss her 3 times before I could even print a receipt. (ps. she rejected all 3 attempts... but still took the jeans and continued the date AND they are going to Las Vegas together this week)
- A man ditched his "date" and offered to take pictures of me and my best friend. He ran after us... leaving his date sitting alone at a table.
- Met a "nice" guy at the airport, but 20 minutes into our conversation his wedding ring mysteriously disappeared.
- I have been told the statement: "I would totally ___(various activities)___ you if I wasn't in a relationship/engaged/MARRIED" countless times.
-Observed men who enter a restaurant with one woman but leave with another.
- Heart to heart talks with friends and strangers always end with the statement "I wish I could just meet a nice guy... do those even exist anymore?"
- Overheard a guy talking about how his girlfriend is "just okay, like a 6" but he enjoys having her when he needs someone.
- Girls saying they "love" their boyfriend, except she can't be with him... um okay?
....Right now, at 2 in the morning, I am feeling so sick and so tired and should be sleeping but I can't even sleep because I am pissed, irritated and confused at the same time. I have met and talked to so many new people this summer and somehow (especially with girls), we always transition to the whole "do you have a boyfriend/are you dating conversation. Its just a girl thing, we bond over these type of things. Unfortunately, the majority of conversations aren't good. I have realized how many people are hurting... really hurting. How many girls and guys are being played, used, and forgotten.
When I think about all the scenarios listed above, it makes me sick. The fact that two people can enter a holy union, and promise to love, hold and cherish till death do them part but fantasize about being with someone else. Or how about the relationship where one person is giving their all, 110% while the other half is checking out someone else. Or how the word "love" is so easily said but rarely meant.
A friend and I were sitting at the pool a few weeks ago and we couldn't help but wonder where all the nice guys were, do they even exist? I remember a few years ago, the day before my birthday I started a facebook chat with a friend I had not talked to in years. I told him that even though my birthday was tomorrow, I really did not have any plans or anything. The next day, a vase of roses was delivered. Inside was a note saying that just as a friend to friend, he wanted to wish me a happy birthday and add something special to my day. He most have spent a fortune because he ordered them literally less then 24 hours before my bday and lived on the opposite side of the country. The most touching part was that he did it not to try to win me over with gifts but out of a genuine, pure, friend way. He did not want something out of it or hoped to "get" something in return.
This is the types of guys (and girls) our society needs. Where are those guys who leave roses at your doorstep? Or ask your father's permission to date you, no matter what age you may be. The guys who surprise you with coffee at work or leave notes on your car to let you know they are thinking of you. Instead everything has become "well-if-i-do-this-for-you, what-will-you-do-for-me?"
Yes, relationships are a give and take but that should just come from a mutual understanding. Instead we have built a society where "i bought you something nice, now you owe me a kiss" and the word "love" is a synonym for "like" and "lust" and oh yeah, marriage has become a rental service.
It just seems like very few people get it and most just don't know what they want or what they should want. Our generation has become so flaky, for lack of better words. Nobody knows what they want. First there was courting, then came dating, and now its called "hanging out." There is no more "mutually exclusive" but rather a friends with benefits/call me when you need me/you bought me dinner so I owe you something.
Ever since I was little, marriage was looked at as one of the biggest events of your life and one out of the two biggest commitments you will every make. One commitment was to your savior and one to your spouse. I guess what I am trying to say is that seeing how ill relationships these days are makes me scared and thankful that my mother thought me to trust very few. I pray that there are people out there who want to do things right, and treat people with love, respect and dignity, and who do things out of the kindness of their hearts and not ulterior motives. To the men out there, women are craving for men of dignity, self worth, kindness, thoughtfulness and a genuine heart.
- Helped a man at work, who was on a first date with a girl. After spending a ridiculous amount of money on "pre-date" gifts and 200 hundred dollar jeans later, he assumed he was "in" with a girl and attempted to kiss her 3 times before I could even print a receipt. (ps. she rejected all 3 attempts... but still took the jeans and continued the date AND they are going to Las Vegas together this week)
- A man ditched his "date" and offered to take pictures of me and my best friend. He ran after us... leaving his date sitting alone at a table.
- Met a "nice" guy at the airport, but 20 minutes into our conversation his wedding ring mysteriously disappeared.
- I have been told the statement: "I would totally ___(various activities)___ you if I wasn't in a relationship/engaged/MARRIED" countless times.
-Observed men who enter a restaurant with one woman but leave with another.
- Heart to heart talks with friends and strangers always end with the statement "I wish I could just meet a nice guy... do those even exist anymore?"
- Overheard a guy talking about how his girlfriend is "just okay, like a 6" but he enjoys having her when he needs someone.
- Girls saying they "love" their boyfriend, except she can't be with him... um okay?
....Right now, at 2 in the morning, I am feeling so sick and so tired and should be sleeping but I can't even sleep because I am pissed, irritated and confused at the same time. I have met and talked to so many new people this summer and somehow (especially with girls), we always transition to the whole "do you have a boyfriend/are you dating conversation. Its just a girl thing, we bond over these type of things. Unfortunately, the majority of conversations aren't good. I have realized how many people are hurting... really hurting. How many girls and guys are being played, used, and forgotten.
When I think about all the scenarios listed above, it makes me sick. The fact that two people can enter a holy union, and promise to love, hold and cherish till death do them part but fantasize about being with someone else. Or how about the relationship where one person is giving their all, 110% while the other half is checking out someone else. Or how the word "love" is so easily said but rarely meant.
A friend and I were sitting at the pool a few weeks ago and we couldn't help but wonder where all the nice guys were, do they even exist? I remember a few years ago, the day before my birthday I started a facebook chat with a friend I had not talked to in years. I told him that even though my birthday was tomorrow, I really did not have any plans or anything. The next day, a vase of roses was delivered. Inside was a note saying that just as a friend to friend, he wanted to wish me a happy birthday and add something special to my day. He most have spent a fortune because he ordered them literally less then 24 hours before my bday and lived on the opposite side of the country. The most touching part was that he did it not to try to win me over with gifts but out of a genuine, pure, friend way. He did not want something out of it or hoped to "get" something in return.
This is the types of guys (and girls) our society needs. Where are those guys who leave roses at your doorstep? Or ask your father's permission to date you, no matter what age you may be. The guys who surprise you with coffee at work or leave notes on your car to let you know they are thinking of you. Instead everything has become "well-if-i-do-this-for-you, what-will-you-do-for-me?"
Yes, relationships are a give and take but that should just come from a mutual understanding. Instead we have built a society where "i bought you something nice, now you owe me a kiss" and the word "love" is a synonym for "like" and "lust" and oh yeah, marriage has become a rental service.
It just seems like very few people get it and most just don't know what they want or what they should want. Our generation has become so flaky, for lack of better words. Nobody knows what they want. First there was courting, then came dating, and now its called "hanging out." There is no more "mutually exclusive" but rather a friends with benefits/call me when you need me/you bought me dinner so I owe you something.
Ever since I was little, marriage was looked at as one of the biggest events of your life and one out of the two biggest commitments you will every make. One commitment was to your savior and one to your spouse. I guess what I am trying to say is that seeing how ill relationships these days are makes me scared and thankful that my mother thought me to trust very few. I pray that there are people out there who want to do things right, and treat people with love, respect and dignity, and who do things out of the kindness of their hearts and not ulterior motives. To the men out there, women are craving for men of dignity, self worth, kindness, thoughtfulness and a genuine heart.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Quote of the Day 8/3/11
“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” [Charles Swindoll]
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