I went to LA this weekend and between my amazing trip and other things that have been going on the past few weeks, I have had various thoughts roaming around in my head. Before I start, I am going to recall a few things experienced and/or heard...
- Helped a man at work, who was on a first date with a girl. After spending a ridiculous amount of money on "pre-date" gifts and 200 hundred dollar jeans later, he assumed he was "in" with a girl and attempted to kiss her 3 times before I could even print a receipt. (ps. she rejected all 3 attempts... but still took the jeans and continued the date AND they are going to Las Vegas together this week)
- A man ditched his "date" and offered to take pictures of me and my best friend. He ran after us... leaving his date sitting alone at a table.
- Met a "nice" guy at the airport, but 20 minutes into our conversation his wedding ring mysteriously disappeared.
- I have been told the statement: "I would totally ___(various activities)___ you if I wasn't in a relationship/engaged/MARRIED" countless times.
-Observed men who enter a restaurant with one woman but leave with another.
- Heart to heart talks with friends and strangers always end with the statement "I wish I could just meet a nice guy... do those even exist anymore?"
- Overheard a guy talking about how his girlfriend is "just okay, like a 6" but he enjoys having her when he needs someone.
- Girls saying they "love" their boyfriend, except she can't be with him... um okay?
....Right now, at 2 in the morning, I am feeling so sick and so tired and should be sleeping but I can't even sleep because I am pissed, irritated and confused at the same time. I have met and talked to so many new people this summer and somehow (especially with girls), we always transition to the whole "do you have a boyfriend/are you dating conversation. Its just a girl thing, we bond over these type of things. Unfortunately, the majority of conversations aren't good. I have realized how many people are hurting... really hurting. How many girls and guys are being played, used, and forgotten.
When I think about all the scenarios listed above, it makes me sick. The fact that two people can enter a holy union, and promise to love, hold and cherish till death do them part but fantasize about being with someone else. Or how about the relationship where one person is giving their all, 110% while the other half is checking out someone else. Or how the word "love" is so easily said but rarely meant.
A friend and I were sitting at the pool a few weeks ago and we couldn't help but wonder where all the nice guys were, do they even exist? I remember a few years ago, the day before my birthday I started a facebook chat with a friend I had not talked to in years. I told him that even though my birthday was tomorrow, I really did not have any plans or anything. The next day, a vase of roses was delivered. Inside was a note saying that just as a friend to friend, he wanted to wish me a happy birthday and add something special to my day. He most have spent a fortune because he ordered them literally less then 24 hours before my bday and lived on the opposite side of the country. The most touching part was that he did it not to try to win me over with gifts but out of a genuine, pure, friend way. He did not want something out of it or hoped to "get" something in return.
This is the types of guys (and girls) our society needs. Where are those guys who leave roses at your doorstep? Or ask your father's permission to date you, no matter what age you may be. The guys who surprise you with coffee at work or leave notes on your car to let you know they are thinking of you. Instead everything has become "well-if-i-do-this-for-you, what-will-you-do-for-me?"
Yes, relationships are a give and take but that should just come from a mutual understanding. Instead we have built a society where "i bought you something nice, now you owe me a kiss" and the word "love" is a synonym for "like" and "lust" and oh yeah, marriage has become a rental service.
It just seems like very few people get it and most just don't know what they want or what they should want. Our generation has become so flaky, for lack of better words. Nobody knows what they want. First there was courting, then came dating, and now its called "hanging out." There is no more "mutually exclusive" but rather a friends with benefits/call me when you need me/you bought me dinner so I owe you something.
Ever since I was little, marriage was looked at as one of the biggest events of your life and one out of the two biggest commitments you will every make. One commitment was to your savior and one to your spouse. I guess what I am trying to say is that seeing how ill relationships these days are makes me scared and thankful that my mother thought me to trust very few. I pray that there are people out there who want to do things right, and treat people with love, respect and dignity, and who do things out of the kindness of their hearts and not ulterior motives. To the men out there, women are craving for men of dignity, self worth, kindness, thoughtfulness and a genuine heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment