Part of growing up consists of figuring out who you are: your likes and dislikes, interests, beliefs, morals, personal philosophies and all that other fun stuff. There are have been so many experiences and life lessons that have made me the person I am today. I believe that you are more of every experience and would be less of a person had that experience not happened to you.
I was born on August 12, 1991 in beautiful Riga, Latvia to Peter and Lidia Kravchuk. Prior to 1991, Latvia was a part of the Soviet Union. My mom was born in current day Brest, Belarus and my dad was born in current day Rivne, Ukraine. My parent’s parents had been friends before my parents were even born. They knew each other because they were a part of a group of “underground” churches. Being a Christian was not permitted in the Soviet Union. The government wanted their constituents to join the Communist Party. It you were not an atheist and a member of the communist party, then you were considered an enemy to the country. As a result my grandfather from my mom’s side was jailed 3 times for 3 years each because he continued to serve as a pastor. Both of my grandparents were constantly threatened for their belief in God. Police would raid their homes for bibles and other Christian literature. The KGB threatened to take their kids away, stating that because they believed in God, they were not suited to be parents. When my mom and dad entered school, they were constantly bullied and harassed not only by the students but also by the school administration. Their grades were lowered by their teachers because of their beliefs. Their principles would hold assemblies and called them out before their peers and call them the enemies of the USSR. Despite the constant bashing and humiliation, my parents never gave up on their beliefs. My parents continued to face even more obstacles when they tried to go to college. Eventually, both of their families moved to Latvia because persecution was not as prominent there and both were able to receive higher education.
When I was 6 years old, my family was granted Visa’s on the basis of having had suffered previous religious persecution. My mom’s and dad’s whole family left Latvia; there was no point in living in a country that was just beginning to develop. My parents wanted me to have a future. We lived in Orange County, California for a few months while my parents looked for a job. My dad received a call to be a Worship Pastor in a small Slavic church in Wheaton, Illinois. We lived for a year in Illinois. My parents did not know anyone and spoke little English. My dad served at the church, while my mom cleaned houses day and night. In 1998, we moved to Roswell, Georgia. My dad was called to be the worship pastor of a larger Slavic church in Atlanta. I started Kindergarten, and learning the English language, while my parents began to re-establish themselves in a new place. In 1999, my parents were able to purchase their first home, and along with the home came my 1st and only sister Elizabeth.
I loved living in Georgia and thus Georgia will always be on my mind. My dad eventually started his own church where we worked with many non-Christian Slavic people in Georgia. I spent most of the time at the church. It was a small, country-esqe white church surrounded with huge oak trees and a white picket fence. A small American congregation of about 100 people met there in the mornings. In the afternoon, met our small new church. Later came a Brazilian congregation, which met after us, and a Mexican congregation, which met after the Brazilians. Together we all completed each other and together we became one big family. All my close friends were from church. I was there almost every day, helping my dad. It was home.
As a look back, I realize that I did not have the typical elementary/middle school experience. I was not a part of Girl Scouts or a member of a soccer team. My parents were not members of the PTA and I never got to be a ballerina and perform in the Nutcracker. My life was my church. My parents had always expressed the importance of the role of God in our lives, so it was only natural that church became my second home. I may not have had a “school life” but I had an amazing church life. Do I wish that I could have been in Girl Scouts or on the soccer team or a ballerina? Perhaps, but that is only because I have seen and heard others’ experiences. In the moment, I was living a blissful childhood life.
Middle school was a transition. Not only are you physically changing but also you are mentally changing. You realize more of societies expectations. I pushed myself to receive straights A’s, maybe one or two B’s occurred, but I strived for excellence. I was the second violin in my school orchestra. I guess it was only natural because I had come from such a musical family. My dad holds masters in music and opera and he pushed me to play the violin and piano and to sing. Music was, is and will always be a part of my life. My dad always stressed the importance of “real” music, not the “junk” playing on the radio. As a result, I can say that I did not start listening to Rap or R&B music till about the end of 8th grade. Instead I enjoyed classical music concerts and operas and falling asleep while listening to Beethoven, Bach and Vivaldi.
Perhaps because I was growing up in a different culture, I struggled with moments of insecurity. I was confident in myself yet peers unknowingly began to break down that confidence. Because I was so actively involved at my church, I did not invest in my school friendships. I could not relate to the kids I went to school with. I couldn’t name the song playing on the top 40 radio station or talk about the shows on TV (my family saw no need for cable TV!) or sell Girl Scout cookies with the girls in my class. Although I was close with my family, I had not yet realized what it meant to be close: to share feelings, emotions and desires. I bottled up my feelings. I continued to still be actively involved in my church, from Christmas pageants to bake sales to Harvest Festivals, I was there. That was what life was about.
At the end of 7th grade, I felt like I finally had it down. I had a life at church AND at school; I could finally fit in two both places. Everything was great, until my world came crashing down. My parents said that they had been actively praying and felt that God was calling them to move to Santa Barbara, California to be closer with my mom’s family. I cried the next 4 months, every night, praying our house would not sell. Contrary to my prayers, the house sold quickly and I moved from one coast to another: an experience that changed my life in a way I never thought possible.
It took me about 3 years to fit into California. It is such a different world compared to the South. The biggest change was the shift of morals, values and beliefs. People in California stressed independence over community and personal values over biblical values. Yet, something powerful happened. It did not discourage me, but rather empower me. God used this contrast to strengthen and grow me as an individual. I did not feel afraid or embarrassed to tell the people at school that they had it all wrong. I was not afraid to be politically correct. I began to write for my school newspaper and I liked pushing people’s buttons. I covered the hot topic issues, abortion, gay marriage, global warming and whatever else was “hot” at the moment. I put election bumper stickers on my car, which were peeled off quite often, but I did not care. I knew what I stood for and I knew what I believed.
In January of 2007, my life took a few steps backwards. My whole life I had been a healthy child. I rarely got sick, spent all my time outdoors playing and ate a relatively healthy diet. Little did I know that my body was not in the great shape I thought it was in. The next few months were a rough transition. I rapidly lost weight and then would gain back twice as much. I would feel happy one day and moody the next. I did not know what to eat and had to get adjusted to new diets, medications and routines. My family prayed day and night for healing, knowing that if we ask, God will answer our prayers.
Four years later, I am still battling my diagnosis. Although battling may not be the correct word, I have since “befriended” my condition. I believe that God has a plan for everything that he does. I may never find out why I was diagnosed with a disease that will shorten my life, but I do know that he has a specific plan. I know that this illness is a never-ending journey till the day I die. Some days I feel better and some days I feel irritated, sluggish and with no desire to get out of bed. Only through the prayers of family and the almighty hand of God do I have the will power to get up every day. As terrible as things may seem, it has taught me many very valuable lessons and strengthened our family bond.
Almost harder then dealing with the illness was figuring out what exactly I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Senor year came and left very quickly, leaving only the panic of “who do I want to be when I grow up?” Except “grow up” had become “now,” as many colleges wanted a declaration right away and I wanted a peace of mind as soon as possible. I felt pressure, a lot of pressure. People kept telling me I had time, but I felt like I needed to know sooner then later and at times I was confused and a bit irritated on why God wasn't giving me an answer. I mean here I was, trying to follow His will, but nothing was happening. Finally, one day, after all the stress, tears and prayers, it all clicked and somehow the answer had been there all along. I proudly declared Political Sciences on my college applications.
Politics to me is so exciting and yet frustrating: complex and yet so simple. It brings me to life. People go crazy over the Super bowl; I go crazy over election broadcasting. So many emotions and the suspense of what will happen and the "what ifs" and the "should've, could've, would've." Everything comes out, majestical gains and devastating losses. As my education continues, I grow more and more excited every day. I cannot wait to see what will happen in our government and our world, the good and the bad, the ugly and the pretty. Every day, a mystery unfolds and at the same time starts again. I have only taken a few classes regarding my major at Point Loma, but they have only affirmed that I have picked the right major for me.
Over the past few months at Point Loma, I have realized that I am at the right place at the right time. God has truly put me where I need to be. I may have been extremely homesick the first month but that has come and gone. I have made the most amazing of friends and some pretty unforgettable memories. I never thought in a million years that I would be living in California, let alone attending a beautiful Christian University nestled alongside the Pacific Ocean.
Our lives are quite ironic and seem to only prove that God has a sense of humor. He stops us on the path we thought was the way and puts us on a completely different one. The path may seem dark and dreary but if we keep trusting then the sun eventually comes out to light our path. It still makes me smile and even laugh when I look back at my 14-year-old self, begging God to not let someone buy our house. I thought I knew was my life was going to look like but I was clearly mistaken. I cannot thank God enough for NOT granting my adolescent prayer. He knew what was better for me and what I ultimately needed. That dreaded move made me the person I am today. I am more confident in who I am. Not only that, but it has brought my family closer together. In Georgia, our life was the church, but in California we actually got to be a family, to get to know each other. It may have opened up our eyes to the problems we did not have time to realize before, but it is through those problems that we grow, learn and love each other even more.
As I look into the future, I am no longer tempted to make a 5-year plan. I have seen that God throws curveballs into our lives and we have no choice but to play along. When we surrender ourselves to God is when we truly find ourselves. In May of last year I was able to get baptized alongside my best friend, whom, through the grace of Christ, I was able to bring her to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Every day I am growing and maturing and sometimes failing and stumbling, yet there is always a light on the other side of the tunnel. I do not know if I will wake up tomorrow but I do know that Jesus loves me. He loves me through all my sins and faults and failures and disappoints. I owe a great thank you to my amazing family, friends and leaders who pushed me in the right direction and for their never-ending prayers. I would not be the person I am today without them. I am eternally grateful for everything they have ever done for me. I owe my greatest gratitude to my heavenly father, for answering my prayers and guiding me on this crazy journey called life.
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