is trust a must?

"Love all, trust few."


“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.”


“The best proof of love is trust.”


“Doubt is the beginning not the end of wisdom.”


     The quotations above reflect a common theme; the theme of trust. So what is trust? Webster's defines trust as "assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something." To me, trust is a one syllable words with a countless amount of possibilities. I think that each person, based on how they were raised and past experiences, approaches trust from a different perspective. Some people can trust anyone instantly and others take weeks, even years to fully trust someone or something.
     Is it wrong to trust right away? Or is it wrong to wait? Personally, my life philosophy has been to love all, trust few. Some have told me thats a smart way to go and some have flat out told me that is a horrible way to live. I appreciate their honesty, however, my family has raised me to live that way and I cannot thank them enough for it. As I look back on the the girls in middle school I wanted to open up myself too, or the cute boy who has almost convinced you that he would never ever break your heart, or even a hairdresser (isn't that what their second job is, talking?) , I am beyond thankful that I did not. 
     Was it a lack of trust or just a custom that went from the home to the daily public life? Probably some sort of combination of the two. I know that as I look back, I remember moments in my life where I felt really telling someone whats on my heart or my mind or in my past and yet, this feeling deep, down somewhere told me not to. I realize now how thankful I am that I listened to this inner voice. Being so called "optimistic but realistic" I know that everyone has moments of weakness and failure. We are only human, and each one of us has unknowingly (or knowingly) compromised or even broken the trust they had with someone else. We have all done it. Some of us, in moments of weakness, have the tendency to just use what we know about someone in order to get them back. Although we all regret it in the morning, revenge may temporarily satisfy our hurt.
     The thing is that once words are spoken, there is no talking them back. We say that "sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will never hurt me," yet we all, at our core, know this is not true. Even the strongest can break down when enough words are spoken. 
     The other thought that crosses my mind is the ever so famous question "Why don't you trust me?" All of us have repeatedly, at various points, angrily shouted this question at our parents. My mother, the smart woman she is, always had the same answer: "I trust you, but with trust comes verification." At first response, the thought is, "you must have doubt if you need to verify me in the first place." But looking back, I understand EXACTLY where she is coming from. We are all human, we all make mistakes, and at some points we have all wanted to cheat a little, to cut a corner and see how much we can get away with. 
     Therefore, I stand firm in my philosophy. Not everyone has to be trusted and it is okay to have doubt. Doubt is a part of our human nature. If the person waiting for your trust really truly, honestly desires your trust then they will wait. If someone cannot wait, then maybe they do not deserve your trust in the first place. Trust does not happen over night, or in a week or in a month, it is a life long process, that grows and matures with time. One of my favorite quotes is: "Sometimes we put up walls not to keep people out but rather to see who is willing to knock them down." I think its okay to put a wall where necessary, to see a persons true colors. Does this mean we should do through life being skeptical of all humanity? Definitely not. Trust is the cornerstone of love and everyone wants to be loved. Just remember that everyone is human, and trust is a risk. If the person is right, then the risk is worth taking but figuring out if the person is meant to be trusted? Well, that one is up to y'all....no one said life was going to be easy.... :)