Confrontations

Confrontations. Confronting. Arguing. Misunderstanding. 


     Well, these are all quite unpleasant feelings. In fact, they are more then just unpleasant. Simply put, they suck. No one wants to do it and no one wants to be on the receiving end. But because no one likes to get their feelings hurt and no one wants to hurt feelings, we avoid the idea of confrontation. We hope the problem will go away, resolve itself or we can make a wish on a star and the next morning life is perfect as can be. 
     Ever since Kindergarten, we have been told to always attempt to "communicate" and try to verbalize what is preventing us from sleeping peacefully at night. We need to address the problem right away and whenever we feel that their has been misunderstanding or hurt. 
     When I was little, I hated and dreaded the idea of confrontation. I never told anyone how I felt, I just simply held it all in. That worked out fairly well, till one day I had reached my maximum capacity.. So then I thought, well maybe I need to address everything, but then that resulted in too many headaches. I have since learned that I need to confront  very select people. The people I confront are the people that I care the most deeply about. Its the people that I see something else in, a little something different and the people I see being part of my life for many years to come.
     Yes, there have been girl friends who spread rumors and gossip and I knew they had serious misunderstandings. I chose not to ask them about it because, frankly, I did not want an unnecessary headache, drama and honestly did not see them being a part of my life 5 years from that moment. 
     The last 5 years of my life have provided me with the biggest life learning lessons. They say you do not know who you are till mid to end of your twenties but I do not think you can put a number on something like that. I have really found myself, my voice and the things I hold true. The next five years therefore will be about whether or not I can now put these things to action. Since I have established to myself my thoughts of confrontation, I can say that over the past 5 years, I can count on one hand the amount of confrontations I have had. Sure there were people that I wanted to ask them some questions, but I did not. There is no need for extra drama and headache and heartache, life already provides that without ever asking your permission.
     Confrontation is in no way "fun" but it is sometimes necessary. When you care about someone so much, there is bound to be conflict. No friendship or relationship is without its flaws or bumpy times. Words get misread and reactions get misunderstood; we are all only human after all.
     I have two very incredible best friends who know me and know that if I say I need to ask someone some questions, this must be a person who means a lot to me and I care too much about our friendship to simply sweep things under the rug and hope they go away. We cannot live in denial, but we cannot live in constant argument either. We need to pick and choose our battles wisely. Not to fight where our ego has been bruised (because people will do this to us till the day we die) but rather to fight for something that matters. There are people who we know that are worth fighting for. Yet, it will not always go in your favor, it will not always pay off, but some things need to be said. 
       The few times I have confronted people, I have always attempted to do it with the upmost love and kindness and the most sincere of intentions, honest to God. Did it always go over well? No, but I have mentioned quite a few times in my blog that not every one will like you and stick around to be a part of your life. 
     But, I can say that I can sleep peacefully at night knowing I did my part and while I waited with open arms, they decided to look the other way. I am more because of it and live peacefully knowing not all things are meant to be. I tried, and that's the best I can do.