It's hard to believe that summer is just about over. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was packing up my room at Loma, wondering exactly what summer '11 was going to bring. Three months came and went. What started as one of the hardest summers turned into one pretty incredible summer. It wasn't that I really went anywhere, I found what I needed and so much more right at my doorstep.
My summer revolved around home #2 (Nordstrom) and home #3 (Spectrum Athletic Club) but somewhere in between things just clicked. First off I got to work with some pretty amazing girls, some I knew and some I didn't coming back, but I am so happy I got to know these people. They are some pretty special people with the best of advice, knowledge and stories. It was more then work, it was a bond. As a girl, you find it hard to talk to other girls because of a lack of trust, but somehow it almost felt like a little family. It made the "slow" days fly by and if frustrated/confused/contemplative/etc/etc there was always someone willing to listen and willing to understand. Thank you to these very special women who each have an overabundance of potential. (and ps. shout out to spectrum, I logged over 160 hours at the gym this summer, a personal best.)
Little things here and there have added up to some major realizations and life lessons. One of things I really learned is just how honest the quote "its always easier said than done." No matter how much we say we are going to do something, its many times a whole lot harder. Especially the idea that the most important words are the hardest to say. Sometimes these words are needed so much, and they can be right there, on the tip of your tongue and not come out.
I have found connections with people that I never thought I would. New people, old acquaintances, faded friendships came my way and some pretty amazing relationships formed. The hard part of ending summer is the question of where these connections will go. Will they continue or will they fade? Where do we place each other in our lives? Do you ask that? or do you keep living, knowing whats meant to be finds a way? We all have these questions, but seriously, try being a girl, these types of questions are engraved in our minds and there's no way to get around them.
I have learned the importance of letting people in. I am still learning to accept that not everyone will care about you as much as you care about them, but nevertheless to keep caring. I have learned that when I love, I love big and am also learning the flip side. You can love someone to the point where you would do anything for them, but the receiver may not return the favor. Yes, it hurts unbelievably when you care about someone beyond words yet aren't certain the feeling is mutual.
Throughout everything, I cannot help but see the importance of living each day, one day at a time. Yes, the past should ever be forgotten, it breaks you and makes you and matures you and yes the future should be prepared for, but being anxious changes nothing.
I have less then 48 hours before I leave Santa Barbara. I will miss the routine, the places, and most certainly the people. I don't want to let go but have to accept some people will let me go. That is just life, change is inevitable. But one of my closet friends has repeated the same line over and over to me again all summer. Here's his words of wisdom: "No matter what, in the end, things always fall into place." As summer finishes and I transition to a new season, I am so excited and scared at the same time. I cannot wait to meet new people and share new experiences, but I am also scared for those I am leaving behind, but at the end of the day, it is what it is, there's always a reason for why people from your past don't make it into your future. The ones that matter do and the ones that don't... don't make the transition into fall.
Thank you to everyone who contributed to my summer. I love you all and value your wisdoms and words.
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