a final note, on all past and future posts.

I love writing and grammar, but I hate editing. So please do forgive any incorrect spellings, misused grammar, and run-on sentences. Sometimes I even make up my own words. 

I focus on the message, not the amount of commas. If you do find some sentence structures in need of a little TLC, please do send me a email, FB message or text.

Thanks a million.

More importantly, English is my second language. Forgive me. WWJD?

getting it together

Every time I wrote I can't believe how much time has passed since I last blogged and I always get upset with myself. I love to write; I love to receive y'all's messages and emails and I even love the hate mail. I heard once that if you are offending someone, you must be doing something right, so I hope that perhaps I am doing something right..

Year 3 finished the first week of May and I enjoyed a few days at my parent's home before heading out into the big ole 8-5, Monday to Friday, business attire clad world. My 6:45 alarm calls are a consistent reminder  (or annoyance) that this is the real world. I've had jobs consistently since I was 15, but something about working a solid 8-5 block has really put things in perspective.

That being said before I dive in what's really been on my heart and mind, Id like to say that despite everything, I am beyond blessed and incredibly lucky to live the life I live. San Diego is beautiful, my home is welcoming and inviting and every day I am learning new things about my city, my friends, myself and life as a whole. I can't forget to mention that for a foodie as myself, San Diego is a food Mecca. It has every type of food and cuisine you could think of, whether you spend 5 dollars or 155 dollars, there is something delicious to be tried. I am working on a huge blog post of everything I have the chance to eat and the things my stomach is jumping for joy to try! Check back soon for that. Warming: don't read on en empty stomach or you might find yourself in your car en route to San Diego :)

Now that I've got that off my mind (or my plate), I can share a little bit of what I've been thinking, learning and maybe even messing up. Come summer vacation, I felt great, I looked great and I believed that anything was unachievable. I was high on life, and it was such an indescribable feeling. Yet, happiness came to a halt a little over two weeks ago. My health is as stable as the stock market which meant that as things seemed to get better, things evidently  crashed. It felt like all the progress and effort put in was worthless. It's as if I was stuck on a stationary bike. All that energy  put in and no matter how hard how hard you push, you are exactly where you started. Naturally, the first reaction was "Seriously? Again? Can you just cut me some slack God?" My cloud 9 had withered away and I was back on the ground.

Ironically, as physically and emotionally hard the past days have been, I feel like I have been awakened. While my body seems to still be confused that its only 22 years young and not 92 years old, I feel like my mind and eyes have never been clearer.

Dear Mama

"She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
 “Many women do noble things
    but you surpass them all.”
 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
(Proverbs 31)

An open letter to my mother,

Dear Mama,

     When I was 7, I wanted to be an ice skater and you said “no.” When I was 10, I wanted to be a dolphin trainer, and you said “no.” When I was 15, I wanted to be a stylist, and you said “no.” This may sound like a very depressing conversation and for a 7 or 10 or 15 year old with the biggest of dreams, it very well did sound like that. But now as a 22 year old with now even bigger dreams, the multitude of ‘”no’s” that I have heard in my life were exactly what I needed. You were not the mom who approved of average grades, half colored pictures or weak performances. To a little girl it may seem so confusing but to an adult woman, it was just what was needed. Maybe part of me still hopes I can scoot by with half hearted attempts in my moments of laziness and complacency, but your resounding “no” has through my life journey stopped me from settling on anything short of my very best. You have taught me to push harder and give more, 100% can many times be 110%. Though I have lived only half the lifetime you have, the commitment to excellence you have taught me has already done me well. If I ever do receive praise or compliments, I can only humbly deter them to you because you are the reason for my success.

     Boys and beds were also two things you had strong, one-liner, imperative statements: “Never chase after boys” and “Always make your bed.” I promise I am still trying to live by these rules, and I hope to pass these on to my daughter one day too. Nothing is more valuable that your rules have kept my heart, soul and body safe and sound for my future prince. Furthermore, the biggest lesson I have learned is one that many could only dream to learn. I have learned what love is, what it looks like, what it sounds like and what it is suppose to feel like. Love, I have learned, means ongoing sacrifice, limitless forgiveness, unfailing grace and always letting the other have the first bite. Mama, I have watched you give yourself wholeheartedly to your God, your family, your work and even to those who are not very nice. With grace and elegance, you never fail to grab hold of a room, unknowing the awe in which people around you stand. I believe you would give Grace Kelly, Princess Diana, and Kate Middleton quite a run for their money.

     You still know exactly what you do to me when you say the words “Don’t disappoint me.” No matter if I am in Santa Barbara, San Diego, or Rome, I know you are watching my Facebook, my Instagram, and emails from home. What I did not know then, but I know now, is that it’s not a lack of trust but an honest truth of the value of accountability and knowledge that even the strongest fall down. Over the past few years, our dynamics have changed; instead of mother and daughter we have become friend to friend. We share secrets, we share pain, we share dreams, the only thing that has not changed is that you ask me “Have you met any nice boys?” Don’t worry Mom, when I do, I promise you will be the first to know. I have learned very well that when I do not run them by you, you get the fair chance of saying “I told you so.” But that is just how our relationship is: it is honest, it is raw and I would not want it any way. No matter what part of the world life has taken me, I always miss our late night chats, morning coffee follow ups and you asking why I have not made my bed.

Quote of the Day 5/2/13

A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.       [Nelson Mandela]

Quote of the Day 2/10/13

‎"Furthermore, human appetites are insatiable, for by nature we are so constituted that there is nothing we cannot long for, but by fortune we such that of these things we attain but few. The result is that the human mind is perpetually discontented, and of its possessions is apt to grow weary. This makes it find fault with the present, praise the past, and long for the future; though for its doing so no rational cause can be assigned."                     [Niccolo Machiavelli]

When life gives you lemons….

    …. you make lemonade right? Well, then I am giving in and making lemonade. Lemon cayenne agave lemonade that is. Its sweet with a kick of sass, kind of like my personality ;).
     In all seriousness though, the next 2 weeks will be a challenge for me. I'd probably be happier making lemon bars or something. But after a few weeks of dwelling on it and a little push from my church's 40 day fast mission, I've decided to give my body, mind and soul a cleansing and a re-start. Call me crazy, and some of you have, but the master cleanse is something that has been put on my heart. It's not for everyone and in no way do I claim to be a licensed professional but with my past experiences, it works. 
     At first glance, it's quite illogical. Lemons, syrup, pepper, tea and water is all you get for how ever many days you commit to (the minimum amount is 10 days). Trust me, it's a mental battle above all. You feel out of touch of reality when you aren't able to delight in eating out, popcorn at the movies or a grande vanilla latte. But 10 days + 3 days of "easing out" = wow, I feel a whole lot better. I've just been feeling like, well, crap. Somethings wrong and it's time to fix it.

All my singles ladies (and gentlemen)

My adorable grandparents, Joseph & Maria 
(photo courtesy of Vitaly M Photography)

“Marriage has the power to set the course of your life as a whole. If your marriage is strong, even if all the circumstances in your life around you are filled with trouble and weakness, it won't matter. You will be able to move   out into the world in strength.”

                                                              -Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage
  There are two things in life that scare me: liberals and never getting married. The latter is worse, of course. I am NOT the type of girl with binders of wedding ideas and florists on speed dial. But, I do have a wedding Pinterest board, sue me, so does every girl capable of accessing the world wide web. In my life I have been blessed to be surrounded by living examples of what exactly a marriage is supposed to look like. My grandparents, parents, aunts and uncle have marriages that people should be documenting. They are imperfectly perfect. I know that they are not perfect because every individual is inherently flawed, but other then that, they rarely fall short of perfection. These people have demonstrated what grace, forgiveness, compromise and ultimately love look like. After years of observations, only one explanation stands: these were matches made in heaven. Literally.
     I am not naive to believe that there is absolutely only one perfect person out there for you. Rather, I have learned that the most critical component of marriage is for the union to be perfect in God's eyes. The man and woman preparing for holy matrimony must indefinitely know most and foremost their relationship with God. They must feel complete and whole through only Christ. Marriage is not about finding someone who completes you. This is arguably the biggest intangible threat to the institution of marriage today. People search for someone who completes them because they themselves feel incomplete. They enter marriage thinking that this person can fill all the voids and gaps they themselves have not been able to complete. When the other person fails to do so, marriages dissolve, precisely what we are seeing happen in society today. Your husband or wife will help you change, evolve and grow as a person, as they absolutely should, but you cannot expect them to complete you wholly. Some of those voids are too big for any human being, only God is big enough to fill those. 

Roma Roma Mia

Still can't believe this was real life.

 Editors Note: Please excuse my lateness on this post, but I figured better late than never :)  

Okay this is actually Budapest… but I kinda left a piece of my heart there too!

     4 countries, 18 cities and 100 amazing days later, I am back in the grind. The adventure I had waited for what seemed like forever came and went in a glimpse. I no longer wake up to the noise of nuns protesting, run downstairs to get my daily cappucino from a little old man named Giovanni, get harassed on the metro on the way to school or pass by the Vatican on my nightly runs. It still seems crazy that just a few weeks ago, Rome was my home and Italian life became the norm. The pavement I walked held more story then the entire state of California. But as they say… "all good things most come to an end." My trip may have come to an end, but the learning, memories and friendships made have not. What happens in Rome, does not have to stay in Rome and nor do I want it to. I am proud of the journey I made and the impact my trip has made on the rest of my life. 

Yeah, all the dessert was to die for. Brought a new meaning to death by dessert

  If you knew me prior to my trip, you knew I could not wait to go to Italy. It could not come soon enough; September could not come quick enough. I landed in Florence on the evening of September 6 and despite my rough flight, late night and inability to adjust properly to time change, it all felt so unreal. I was here, in Italy, afters months and months of waiting. Yet the next night when my parents dropped me off, things became very real and actually a little depressing. I was going to be away for a long long time (or so it seemed at the time) and despite all the wonders and glories that Europe had to offer… my family would be miles and miles away. In that moment, my eagerness quickly faded and I was left standing with a room full of suitcases and a handful of Kleenex. 
     
     In true Lydia fashion, the homesickness comes right away and as fast as it comes, it also leaves. Looking back today, Italy gave me the journey and adventure of a lifetime. I lived with 5 other girls, each of us so vastly different.. in personality, in style, in belief and in daily routine. But that was the beauty of 114 Viale di Trastevere, we learned to live, compromise and communicate with each other and came to find that maybe we  weren't so different from each other after all. We all had the same fears, failures, heartbreaks and heartaches.. we all missed our families and american food and venti sized lattes.. and at the end of the day, all we wanted to be is to be understood. Perhaps some of us will cease to exist in each others lives and some of us will only strengthen our newly grown friendships, but the point is that we grew on our own because we grew together. 
    People ask me why I chose Italy and apart from the obvious response of "why not?" there is another part to the story. My political science program at Point Loma may have required a semester abroad, but it was something I knew I wanted to do long before I even went to school. I always knew I wanted to go abroad and was set on London for years but one day, something within me changed and to be honest, it wasn't my choice, it was made by the man upstairs. I had prayed about study abroad for a long time and one morning I woke up with complete peace and confidence just knowing that Rome was it. It was settled and done and doubt never again crossed my mind.

Capri… so full of beauty

       Now, anyone who knows me knows that I have been obsessed with Pompeii since I was a little girl. I used to read the Magic Tree house book series religiously and one to the journeys I was able to take through that series was one to the ancient town of Pompeii. Pompeii used to be a town full of riches, commerce and the elite. The people there lived elaborate lives: big palaces and numerous bath and spa business centers. Also there? An acceptance of brothels and prostitution. Prostitution was not frowned upon and neither was much else, morals were not much of a concern to Pompeii. 

     Despite Pompeii's legacy and ruthless destruction, the remains of the city are still beautiful. The white columns and stone buildings still stand loud and proud, echoing the glories of a once glamourous city. It was incredible to be able to walk through the city. The remains of the citizens still bring gloom and shock. Their faces still clearly show trembling fear, who could imagine their life ended by pounds of ash and burning lava? 

    Next stop, was our hotel, which was quite charming and beautiful. The town is full of color and the people are some of the sweetest I met. Even though it rained, the beauty of the city could not be covered. 

      The next day, we went to Capri and again it poured, but that didn't stop our adventures. Capri is truly full of beauty. The colorful homes are lined among beautiful scenery and ever blue water. Capri is 

specifically known for its Limoncello production and intricate sandals, hand made by artisans. Nothing beats handstiched sandals and Swarovski crystals. Capri is definitely one place I will one day come back to. 

What the Italy?!?! #2

A picture's worth a thousand words. These are on every corner. Welcome to Italy.